Only a million different ways I could write this topic

But we'll start with wtf is that poker algorithm, and why can it only clown on me, and set me up to lose, day after day?

Mean while it feeds most people hands every 18 mins?

I know I'm an actual decent player, and I'd just win lots and lots and lots, if I didn't get algorithm black listed

But I'm getting very tired of it now

I've played poker on torn long enough now to prob have about 12 people that have watched me play, that can testify I just get nothing but set up to lose.. But then again they're probably still struggling to grasp it, even after multiple demonstration of me getting only fked, one after the other  

Sent staff a nice message explaining what's going on, and asking about it, and got no reply..

So I'll make a topic and everyone can dribble their dormant brain at me about how I need to get good..

Mean while I'd love someone like Phil Helmuth to come play torn poker for like 100 hours, so the algorithm can make sure he doesn't win, when it realises he's good..

and he can say the same things I have

and all the brain cells can tell him he just needa get good

That would be great

Now watch as I get AA, and lose, 3 times in a row

But I probably just need to get good

Mean while, Phil Helmuth himself couldn't play on my acc, and consistently profit 


Oh, you think I'm crazy?


Not as crazy as the fact my poker stats look like I'm some donk who gets fed wins, and just donks it back.. Mean while I'm the utter opposite

I have to earn my wins, and out play people on about %30 of pot wins.. I am never fed wins like you lot

People be dribbling about the fact my most played table is pound it, while they're too dull to grasp I had to grind those stakes so much, trying to breach 1b + and get to like 1.3b, to move to bigger tables

But when ever I play a table for 12 hours, and play very well, and eventually extract some profit, the game spends the next couple days trying its very best to only suck that back out of me 

If most of you watched what the algorithm does to me, you'd be like wtf is this shit? How can it fk you so bad, and only fk you?

• • Poker score
  • 18,925,772
  •  
• • Hands dealt
  • 6,543
  •  
• • Hands played
  • 4,095
  •  
• • Hands played percentage
  • 63%
  •  
• • Net profit
  • $659,123,371
  •  
• • Total money gain
  • $8,305,250,711
  •  
• • Total money loss
  • $7,646,127,340
  •  
• • Money won / lost ratio
  • 1.09
  •  
• • Biggest win
  • $286,797,450
  •  
• • Biggest loss
  • $292,969,900
  •  
• • Legacy total money won
  • $0
  •  
• • Legacy total money lost
  • $0
  •  
• • Tournaments won
  • 0
  •  
• • Tournament money gain
  • $0
  •  
• • Tournament money loss
  • $0
  •  
• • Tournaments entered
  • 0
  •  
• • Best hand
  • 9♥ 10♥ J♥ Q♥ K♥
  •  
• • Best session
  • $335,608,265
  •  
• • Favourite table
  • Pound It
  •  
• • Total time played
  • 83 h 14 min
  •  

Imagine being one of the best players on torn, yet your poker stats look like you're just another fed donk.. and I can't even profit daily, while playing an algorithm that lets me win when it says I can win 

Dude you play 63% of your hands stfu abt being good 

also a 1.09 win/loss ratio is good

Yh, if you knew how to play, instead of just being fed wins for trillions in profit

You'd know the flop is the most important part of the hand to see.. 

If you can see it cheap, then you should see it..

Do I need to explain to you why it's important to see the flop, then make the decision whether to play the hand, or not play it, from there?

You realise every actual pro player knows it doesn't matter what 2 cards you hold, it's what the board does

You have noticed pro's occasionally playing hands like 6 4 and stuff, haven't you?

Well that would be apart of why

Now let me spoon feed your expert brain the other reason why I've seen so many flops, it's because I'm still stuck on lower stakes, grinding, out playing the fk out of people, and just being set up to lose, and winnings extracted back out of me, every time I win 300mill

Cats chance highest I've played on.. and just ask the people who were playing how it utterly just fked me over with set ups to lose.. 

I literally can't beat a computer program that's decided no more wins for me, instead only fkery

Basically what ever hand I get, someone has me beat.. It's either that, or I finally get a hand, whole table folds pre-flop, no one even bet.. classic

Mean while watch people get fed AA, to have 4 people call, and beat them all.. 

Then I pick up AA, and ofc lose

But do go on, enlighten me some more on how to play, when you're probably not even close to my level

It's ok, you just go sit on your trills of fed wins, and imagine you're good.. 

I'll be over here actually being good, and constantly just being set up to lose, or I'd win too much..

and we can't have me winning too much now, can we?

It's people like you, I could demonstrate and show it happening, how I just get utterly fked, even talk you through how I'm getting fked, and how it's insane.. demonstration after demonstration of wtfuckery 

and you'd still probably not get it

The algorithm has also changed how it plays, since I started playing on torn

 I'm no idiot, observing patterns and what is actually happening, is standard to me.. 

Didn't take me long at all when I was 18, playing online poker, to realise it's not legit random..

Most wannabe intellectuals never even grasp that online poker is not legit random 

And most wannabe intellectuals won't even grasp why poker programs always reward donks, and hinder actual good players.. even if I explained it to you

If you seen what the torn poker only can do to me now, you'd think I've been black listed... 

Forget ''You shall not pass!'' and try ''You shall not win!''

Im not reading all that delusional rambling 

if torn rewards bad play, just play even worse than you already do!  Torn rewards bad play, right? Youll rake in the cash!!

That's not quite how it works, but 10/10 for attempts to be intelligent

Run along then back to your fed wins..

Oh wait, you're going to tell me you're trills in profit, is just ''pure skills''

Mean while you'll think the fact I've not got 4-5b in stocks by now, from poker profit, must be because I needa ''get good'', instead of the fact I'm too good, so needa get fucked, and blocked from winning too much

I know what cards people have got so often, the algorithm prob thinks I'm cheating, so only fks me

But if you could grasp this... 

Literally sat and observed how the algorithm changes and plays different, since I started playing on Torn

Was a time I'd quite often flop 2 pair, even a few trips, even flopping some straights.. But guess what, only mostly some how losing..

Yes, got to love how that board must just pair, to make me lose, or how it must just go suit suit suit, with maybe a 4th suit, just to make me lose, almost without fail..

Like I'd have made more profit betting on the fact I'm going to get fked by a clown board, than I would have playing poker 

Guess what happens now? I'll be lucky to flop 2 pair in 12 hours of playing..

let's not get started on the rest of the utter wtfuckery 

Wtf  are you on about .If you are good prove it lmao.dont come on here spouting nonsense.

I am going to assume you have been playing since you started Torn so it's a 2 month downswing at most?

Downswings can last much longer. Save your complaints for later!

It seems you like poker and maybe you studied it a little?

Re-educate yourself. Back to square 1 for you.

Lol

So you are mad because the smart play is to see a cheap flop with any 2 cards and you get beat by people who play any 2 cards...got it.

You got nothing.. none of you have

But keep dribbling your dormant brains

I'd out play most of you in my sleep 

I'm annoyed because I'm playing an algorithm that can only fk me.. and only fk me

But being mid/shite players that you are, being fed wins every 12 hands, you will never grasp just how much the algorithm can only fk me

It's people like you, I could show a time lapse of 1,000 hands, and me getting fked every time I get a hand.. and you still wouldn't get it..

I got K8 , you got K9 .. I finally hit a flush with 8 high, you got 9 high.. and so on..

Mean while I have to win like 60-100 of those hands, by out playing people..

I know for a fact if I hopped on a new acc, the algorithm would play utterly different, and I'd be getting fed hands again, like your average player 

Until it realises I'm too good, again.. and that I must not be allowed to win too much

I don't need to study poker.. I have intelligence.. I realise everything for myself, don't need to be told and trained on the obvious.. thanks though

It's people like yourself who need to read books to learn/realise the obvious..

I don't 

If anyone wants to teach me how to play in a heads up, go for it.. 

can't play with much atm though, as I needa get good

and I can laugh as the algorithm starts to set you up with fed wins, either from the start, or after I out play you, and start winning 

I got Q8 and hit pair of 8's, you'll have K8.. and so on.. 

I hit 2 pair on flop, you hit trips

Can't make it up kinda thing.. and then you'll think you're good.. 

Hilarious 

Then I'll have to spoon out to people the many difference between 2 handed table, 6 handed, and 9 handed, and how to play on each, and why it's not legit random, but an algorithm..

and how it's most obvious to tell it's not legit random, when on heads up..  As you constantly get fed the better hand than me, every 5 hands, while I'm out playing you with mostly sweet nothing 

Then maybe I can write a small essay on some of the many other aspects and concepts of playing poker, that I read zero books to self realise/know 

So wait, if i play you heads up and kick your ass, youd just say its rigged anyways? 

lmao 

if i have the better hand then you, and get your money as a result, thats ME outplaying YOU. 

if you have q8 and i have k8 and outkick you? And get money from you? Thats me value betting you. If you’re so good, you can click the fold button

im sure you know all this, because youre a poker god 🤣

No, but I can explain to you it's just playing an algorithm that does what it wants.. 

By explaining exactly how you're getting fed against me.. as I know it will happen

Nah it's you that's the poker god ennit, teach me

Do I even ask what the fk you're waffling about here? 

''if you have q8 and i have k8 and outkick you? And get money from you? Thats me value betting you. If you’re so good, you can click the fold button'' 

If you get fed the better hand than me constantly, it's you value betting me, and out playing me?

Hmmm k 

Not sure if I should pretend I don't know what value betting is, and you do.. and just say yes, or not

Do you see why he has so many enemies and bounties? 

I disagree that the algorithm targets you specifically. Especially with your 1.09 w/l ratio. You’re winning money, why complain?

but your broader point is correct, torn poker is not like real poker. 

Torn poker sets up a ton of coolers, and has some weird quirks that make it different to play. That doesn’t mean it’s bad. Just different. You have to adapt around it. I’m assuming (as I’m not a dev) that torn poker is designed for excitement. Big hands that win big and lose a lot. Straights vs. flushes, full houses vs. flushes, etc. etc. it keeps people coming back for more and somewhat rewards fish for playin hands that most people wouldn’t touch. 

claimin that the algorithm targets you specifically is a bit much. It just doesn’t play exactly like real life. Be glad you’ve made a profit and move on

Is he capable of seeing the actual truth?

Take a look at how people talk to me, dribbling their dummy opinions like they know better than me, acting like I'm some dead of brain

and people wonder why I respond back how I do?

Notice how anyone who interacts with me like a grown up, gets the same back?

Oh, you probably don't..

Run along then back to your ku ku clown crew

If you're so good at poker I've got an option for you..

Play poker in real life, win real money..

Then buy donator packs with your winnings and sell them at the pawn shop.

You'll do less complaining that way.

I'm not winning though, really.. Not consistently as I should be able to anyway.. 

If you seen what I've had for days, and what the algorithm does for me.. You'd know why I'm getting tired of it..

tbf I sat at a table today, and got a 2-3 luck..

But as I said in poker chat 

''and I've been getting fked on poker for about the last 4 days

Had a 2-3 lucks since sitting down here though, but that's probably it for the week now

The algorithm will probably just spend the next 3 days trying to extract this 280mill profit back out of me now''

Looked like a few people on that table were getting it a bit rough.. Doubt most get what I do though

Yh I know there's a couple flaws with odds, and boards pairing and stuff.. and couple other things, was going to write a bit about them for the topic about torn poker to give some feed back on what's a bit off... 

I get very similar things with every poker algorithm I've ever played though.. 

Everyone who've played ''real online poker'' have also seen people play terrible, and just get rewarded.. It's all connected... 

and many people know the algorithms are all a bit ''funky'' .. I'm pretty sure most don't get it as bad as me though..

I literally watch most people get fed hands and wins like clock work.... 

I'm not saying it's just me it targets, it will be the same for everyone......

It seems in some ways to be trying to balance/limit how much some people can win, but not everyone.. 

Though clearly feeds quite a few people.. if it did that to me, I'd be sat on 4-5 bill by now, but I'm playing against an algorithm that literally says nope, that's you done for today, maybe the next 3 days... 

Then proceeds to do nothing but attempt to set me up to lose for the next 3 days... Basically

Mean while most people still getting fed wins, every 14 hands, and most of them donking it right back off again.. funny that

There's reasons all poker algorithms favour bad/mid players, and hinder good ones

I don't see a reason why I shouldn't be able to play and win consistently, even with bad cards.. But it's usually so bad even I can't consistently win.. 


Resect for the one legit comment though