Video of how Teej destroyed me (Aha)

This 30minute video just about sums up all I get on torn poker %99.2 of the time.. 

Sweet and utter f all, while watching plebs get fed

and when I do get something, fed pleb must have me beat.. basically..

About sums up all I get on torn poker quite beautifully 

Sat on river wizard with only 3 other people on it, with 80milll..

Could only last 30minutes with such utter sweet nothing hands, and losing to a pleb being fed a flush, twice, the 2 times when I've got something....

Teej sits down about 10mins into the wtfuckery, and starts betting like a pleb with his sweet f all/fed mid hands, and his big stack compared to what I sat with.. 

If only I got a couple of hands like your average player.. It would have been easy profit for me.. But that would be too easy, and I'd win wayyyy too much.. and we can't have that now. 

The video will take it from there..

https://youtu.be/7B67yG6qhqQ

BTW, it's not self promotion as it's just to prove a point.. I don't even upload videos usually.. The video will be deleted when the point has been proven.. Might take a few more videos too, though not quite sure the idiots will grasp the obvious, even then... 

I have full length recordings of a 10 hour or so session on pound it, and about a 4-5 hour session on boom or bust, from yesterday I'm going to look at editing/cropping, and uploading..

Though really not sure people want to see 10 hours of me mostly getting sweet and utter f all, etc. 

Though on the smaller session, on smaller table, I miraculously got a few hands, for a literally change/once almost... 

Finished 150mill up yesterday, and hit chip leader on both tables like I usually do if I grind it out for hours and hours, but fk me was it grindy for hours and hours with sweet f all but utter hard cap, then getting multiple split pots when I should be finally winning, because I'm literally so hard capped on wins/profit/stack on table 

and was shocking when got a bunch of hands on smaller table.. 

To finally get back to 250mill total.. Only to sit down today on river wizard, and get what ever the fk that was in video..

But of course, it's actually only a few hours since I last played, and is the same day.. and I'm also up... So now the algorithm must do utterly nothing but sweet f all, extract extract, sweet f all, extract extract

Because I've hit my profit hard cap for the day/week 

I can't even afford to sit on RW another 8 times with 80mill, and probably just get the same sweet nothing, for hours and hours.. Or I'd do it to prove a point.. and show that I'd likely not even be able to win 8/8 times, as the hands will be so utterly fked up

you’re just bad at poker mate

Yes, please talk me through how much you would have won on each of those hands I had in the video... 

I can't wait

We'll just ignore the fact I'm a lot better than most of you, so must be utterly hard capped on profit, and with sweet f all hands, and mostly just set up to lose to utter fed plebs

• • Poker score
  • 25,406,806
  •  
• • Hands dealt
  • 8,727
  •  
• • Hands played
  • 5,344
  •  
• • Hands played percentage
  • 61%
  •  
• • Net profit
  • $435,036,722
  •  
• • Total money gain
  • $10,607,033,355
  •  
• • Total money loss
  • $10,171,996,633
  •  
• • Money won / lost ratio
  • 1.04
  •  
• • Biggest win
  • $286,797,450
  •  
• • Biggest loss
  • $292,969,900
  •  
• • Legacy total money won
  • $0
  •  
• • Legacy total money lost
  • $0
  •  
• • Tournaments won
  • 0
  •  
• • Tournament money gain
  • $0
  •  
• • Tournament money loss
  • $0
  •  
• • Tournaments entered
  • 0
  •  
• • Best hand
  • 9♥ 10♥ J♥ Q♥ K♥
  •  
• • Best session
  • $335,608,265
  •  
• • Favourite table
  • Pound It
  •  
• • Total time played
  • 110 h 25 min

Mistake number one, playing outside your bankroll

 git gud, pleb.

ill take the rest of your tiny tiny bankroll whenever u wish, at whichever table u want. 

Why would I need to get good, when I'm a lot better than you?

Yes you probably would take my bank roll, as I'm folding 36 of sweet nothing for 73 hands, while you're being fed hands every 3-7 hands, like magic.. 

My bank roll is never enough, to play fruit machine poker, against and algorithm that feeds mid players like you, and hard caps actual decent players like me

It's hilarious though, you talking about bank roll, while being an utterly fed pleb, to get your bank roll

While I'm utterly hard capped, to be nothing but extracted, every time I win some profit.. 

You just keep deluding yourself though 

I couldn't imagine getting hands like you utter fed plebs.. I'd have 20bill by now

and you're too dull to grasp the fact I've been utter hard capped at like 300mill profit, then must get sweet utter f all but set ups, for how ever long it takes, to extract that back out of me, before I'm allowed to win more..

.. and repeat

But your dormant brain wouldn't grasp that, as you sit and get fed.. 

I've not once seen you sit and not get fed.. I've played with/seen you on table about 4-5 times now.. Every time you just sit and get fed hands repeatedly.. 

Why is that?

Yet I go hours and hours and hours, with utterly hard capped and limited wins, even to the point where hands I should be winning, will go split pot 3 times in a row, just to make sure I win sweet f all....  Until I'm allowed to get my 2-3 luck, for the next 6 hours to 4 days, literally, repeatedly, only... ? 

What happened to that ''RNG'' and variance you wannabe intellectuals dribble about? 

Wait until you see what happens when I'm getting even mid hands.. People get slapped and out played.. Wiped out.. 

You don't want to see what happens when I get hands fed to me like you plebs.. 

I'd be swimming in bills

And that wouldn't be fair for you wannabe good players 

If you are so absolutely certain that Torn is fucking you over (which has been refuted a bunch of times, but ignoring that) - isn't it perhaps easier to go to an IRL casino and play poker there, then pull that money through Torn?

It sounds like it would give you more Torn $$$ per hour than your current approach.

Not sure what makes people think I'd want to make irl money, to donate to torn? For one thing.. 

But yes, I'm absolutely certain

Just wanted to see if you were playing somewhere, to join and have some fun.

Saw you on Pound it but was not even able to join cause you shoved 50bb A6s preflop and obviously lost your stack. What a set up! Really unlucky there

you’re so much better than me, remind me who’s the one crying in the forums because they can’t win?

• Hands played percentage
• 61%

loooooooooooooooooooooool

aha.. Nah I just got bored of the sweet nothings... 

So took a donkey gamble with my ever increasingly shortening stack.. Even said in chat lets play bingo.. 

Turns out, the guy with the worst starting hand out of 3 of us, won..

Funny that

AK off? vs my A6 hearts, vs A2 off? 

A2 off wins ofc.. 

That whole 27min session is also recorded I think

Just me folding sweet f all, pretty much... 

Are you surprised I started with 20mill, and shoved 10-11mill, with A6 suited?

Should I have waited 30 more sweet nothings, until blinded down to 8 mill?

Then get a win back to maybe 16mill?

BINGO TIME! 

Take a shot, or pray to a God of your choice (whichever helps you get through it)

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PSA warning: you're either gonna be incredibly drunk or heavily religious by the end of reading one of these posts

Oh I can win

I just need more than a high card of 6, to win with

Funny how it works

But you keep on dribbling your fallacies and irrelevant nonsense, as if you have even a remote shred of a point .. Or a clue, for that matter

Tell me all about how much you would have won, if it was you playing in the video, instead of me

Point to the hands you think you would have won with

No, I'm not surprised that you shoved A6s, that's the point. You are just bad at the game, deal with it.

There was an opening from EP, and you shoved A6s from MP, which should be a snap fold.

Let's not talk about the guy right after you cold calling with AKo instead of shoving to isolate you, then like 3 more peoples got in the pot and it was a 5way post flop, with AK not connecting but decided to lose his whole stack anyway.

TL;dr - loser loses, is better than everyone else, still loses.

The carpenter blames his tools.

Talk to me like you know better than me..

Go sit down and get fed.. 

As if most you clowns even know how to play

''ugg ugg he raised from early position, that's a snap fold ugg ugg''

The pleb literally went all in with A2.. and then probably got fed many more hands after.. Before swiftly donking it back off, like the fed pleb he is 

Mean while most people.. : K7 off, nothing? raise, still nothing? re-raise.. all in.. Oh, I win.. Go me..

Mean while the board.. AQ5 KK

Mean while, my hand after waiting 38 hands AQ 

Go give your delusions a wobble 

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I just need more than a high card of 6, to win with

then don’t play that hand and you won’t lose it dummy

point to any fallacy or irrelevant nonsense i specifically have said

Ok, just dribble some more 

Feel free to talk me through how I could have won in the video though

Besides playing way outside of your bankroll as mentioned before, why are you limping all your hands instead of raising, even limping pocket kings? Also why are you playing all these trash hands and even calling 5x raises with these hands when you are short stack, but are folding Kx offsuit hands. 

Sure in that 30 minute video i'll agree you had a cold deck(which is extremely common), but there's so much wrong with some of the decision making otherwise, that I wouldn't even worry if you were getting fed good hands or not.

It looks like you are playing 2010 poker or something rather than 2026 poker. There's a million good poker resources nowadays.