🐦⬛ THE GREAT BIRD DEBATE: CROWS VS. EMUS 🐤
Ladies and gentlemen, birds of all species, and unfortunately… emus.
The time has come to address the greatest injustice in avian history.
CROWS ARE THE SUPERIOR BIRD.
This is not an opinion.
This is not a debate.
This is not something that requires further investigation.
It is simply fact.
Crows are intelligent. Crows are adaptable. Crows remember faces. Crows look like they have important business to attend to at all times.
And then we have emus.
Emus.
They can’t fly. They have tiny wings attached to an enormous confused-looking body, and they spend their lives wandering around looking like they have forgotten where they parked their car.
The hierarchy is clear:
🐦⬛ CROWS — THE ELITE
🦅 Eagles — respectable
🦉 Owls — acceptable
🦜 Parrots — chaotic but useful
🪿 Geese — absolute menace
🐤 EMUS — STRAIGHT INTO THE DIRT
I will not be taking questions.
I will not be accepting appeals.
And I certainly will not be apologising to the emu community.
RISE, MY CROW BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
The era of emu oppression begins today.
🐦⬛ CROWS ABOVE ALL.
🐤 EMUS BELOW EVERYTHING.
LET THE GREAT BIRD WAR BEGIN.