Daily TL:DR

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I hadn't really paid attention to the forums when I first started, but now that I've been flying, there isn't much to do except read threads. God knows how many brain cells I've lost trying to comprehend the possibly drug-fueled rambles in GD. Here's a daily TL:DR of what I read so others might save their neurons. Please sub so I don't have to spam bumps like certain people.

Sat May 30 0000 A.C. (Final Stable Release)

[BREAKING] Chedburn finally caught red-handed not replacing the Staff toilet paper roll by snowbeast. Solid evidence point to him having a large number of multies, even a whole faction filled with them!

PurpleRoman wonders what the average age of Torn players is. He betted on 30s to 40s. Replies indicate 20s to 30s, with outliers.

PurpleRoman also wonders if it's worth it to restart. Answers severely oppose the idea.

Shooby calls out Autracity for being a trade scammer.

Aezur points out some interesting correlations between Torn and real-world numbers. Torn is/has, in the world:

• 452nd biggest city
• 26th largest military
• 2nd highest unemployment rate
• 2nd highest amount of teachers per capita

Stolaa complains that his UI (E and N bars, etc.) are not updating in sync with his actions. It seems like a common issue.



A summary of the several Company Highlights by MikePence (with clicky titles!):
Firework Stand:

• 408 companies with 48 active
• average star rating: 0.70* (5.98* excluding 0*)
• 621 employees hired out of 2,355 total capacity
• average daily income: $21,019 ($186,431 excluding $0)

Adult Novelties:

• 740 companies
• 7* to 10* companies on the increase
• average star rating: 4.01* (6.38* excluding 0*)
• 4,581 employees hired out of 6,672 total capacity
• average daily income: $662,984 ($1,073,542 excluding $0)

Flower Shop:

• 326 companies
• average star rating: 1.83* (5.91* excluding 0*)
• 1,106 employees hired out of 2,383 total capacity
• average daily income: $137,399 ($461,755 excluding $0

If you read something interesting you think others should know, message me!

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this is a terrible thread you say i am complaining when i was only notifying the community
r-
stop sneak dissing my brand thats on jah

edit: i do agree mike and all the other mikes are pretty dumb

double edit: thank you guys for all the downvotes!

Welcome to Torn where you will be highest IQ person if you just stay away from "Global Discussion threads"...

I visited the forums today just before I was gonna go to sleep, in which I stumble upon Jstizzy's master plan which was probably fueled by cocaine and/or vodka. Torn's an interesting place, and Jstizzy is another kind of interesting, not the kind that makes you curious, but the kind that makes you interested in what mental state a human has to be in to go on a rant/whatever the hell he posted. But hey, what do I know.

A shart stain isnt a brand, hoei.

your brand isnt the topic stay on it

Roses are red violets are blue, people take too many drugs and hoei does too

*bows*

Can you do this every week? I would sub to that thread.

i would like subscribe and comment too if he didnt slander my brand and would put my brand in a good light

Your brand is known for sending unwanted nudes and threatening to dox if I don't send nudes.

You are the Joe Biden of Torn. You will probably want Dead as your running mate.

Shameful.

you are spreading fake news i am the donald trump of torn is this thread just one big conspiracy to make fun of me?

So syphilis IS your brand. Got it.

I voted for that dude over Hilary and would do so again based on the general direction of the country and all. But the real world would be a better place if he would lose his Twitter login and spend less time thinking out loud in front of microphones. I hope all conservatives can see that...

Maybe you can set an example on Torn for him. Less joei and a little content possibly?

Even Dude is actually playing Torn with his almost 2 billion stats and 10k drug crimes. I just looked at your stats and I can't figure out why you're here all the time, maybe you should use some E and N?

Another thread with potential derailed by joei, wonderful. Since nothing joei does seem to entice moderators into doing their job and forum ban him I guess we just have to adapt to the fact that the forums are becoming more and more worthless.

Great job.

Have started using the DocTorn feature to ignore certain posters - I have no idea what you're talking about :)

so what did you think about your daily tl;dr or are you just here to derail?