Torn for Dummies

Chapter 3: Level 15 – The World

I’ve finally reached Level 15. The wait took forever, and honestly, I’d gotten comfortable being Level 14. Everyone kept saying, “Just wait until Level 15—the game opens up, you’ll have so much more to do!” Well, they weren’t lying.

When that glorious notification popped up, I was over the moon. The first thing I did? Announce it to my faction like I’d just won the lottery. Because in Torn terms, I kinda did.

I couldn’t wait to travel. By now, I’ve learned that getting advice from your faction is key—because mistakes in Torn are expensive and embarrassing. Good thing I asked, because my faction leader hooked me up with a suitcase (because apparently wearing the same clothes for an entire holiday is frowned upon) and a laptop (to stay connected while sipping cocktails on foreign beaches). Very cool of him.

So there I was, waiting at the airport, dreaming of beaches, sunset cruises, fancy dinners, and maybe a yacht party or two. I browsed through all the destinations Torn offers:

• Argentina
• Canada
• Cayman Islands
• China
• Hawaii
• Japan
• Mexico
• South Africa
• Switzerland
• United Arab Emirates
• United Kingdom

After much deliberation (and imagining myself sipping tea like royalty), I picked the UK. Ticket bought, suitcase packed, laptop charged—I was ready.

The Dream Sequence

As I waited for boarding, my imagination went wild. I pictured myself strolling through Buckingham Palace, casually waving at the Queen’s corgis. Afternoon tea with scones and clotted cream at a fancy London café. A sunset cruise down the Thames, Big Ben glowing in the background like a postcard. Fish and chips on a foggy pier, followed by a night at a West End show where I pretend to understand Shakespeare. In my head, I was living the high life—Torn style.

I landed, strolled out of the airport straight into a shop with 21 items—a plushie, some armour, a few drugs, and other random stuff. Naturally, I bought the plushie (because priorities), an inkwell (don’t ask why), a stick grenade (because why not?), and a ship in a bottle as a souvenir. Do I know what I’ll do with these things? Nope. But hey—I travelled, I shopped, and suck it, Level 14 me.

On my way back, I got a message from someone who read my Torn for Dummies chapters. I thought, “Wow, a fan!” Turns out, she just wanted to tell me I posted in the wrong forum. Apparently, I should’ve used the RP Forums, not Non-Related Forums. Another rookie mistake. Torn for Dummies | General Non-related | TORN 

The Husband Saga

And then, real life kicked in. I started obsessing about Torn to my COD (Call of Duty) gamer husband. He’s all about war and killing in his games, so I told him how I’m “killing people” in Torn—role-playing it like a Call of Duty mission:

“Enemy spotted in the streets of Torn. Deploying a stick grenade. Mission accomplished.”

I begged him to join. Over and over. Until he cracked.

I downloaded Torn on his phone without telling him. When he noticed, I said, “Look, now it’s easy for you to join—I did all the hard work!” He signed up, read everything, and ten minutes later said, “My energy is finished and I didn’t shoot anyone,” with the most unimpressed face ever.

Now he’s Level 4, still not amused, but I remind him daily to gym and crime. Baby steps. We’ll get there.

So here I am—Level 15, world traveler, plushie collector, grenade enthusiast, and unofficial Torn evangelist. If this game doesn’t make me rich, at least it’s making me weird… and honestly, I’m okay with that.Load image

This is brilliant! I didn't know you wrote these. I shared it with Venvit too and he said "this is so cute"!

Chapter 4: End-of-Year Madness – Guns, Wars, and Plushies

So here I am, at the end of the year, still obsessed with my new favorite game: Torn. Obsessed might even be an understatement—I’ve convinced my husband and a friend to join. They’re not as optimistic as me, but give me time. Addiction is a slow art.

My husband? He logs in occasionally, mostly when I force him. Honestly, it feels like I’m sitting next to him with a gun to his head saying,

“Join the Organized Crime now or else!” For anyone new: Organized Crimes in Torn are faction missions where you and your crew plan a big heist—think Ocean’s Eleven, but with less George Clooney and more Xanax.

Tip: OC payouts depend on your faction’s crime experience and your crime stats. So if you’re new, don’t expect to retire after one heist.

Faction War: My Boxing Ring Moment

We had our last faction war recently. Once again, I wasn’t strong enough to be a frontline fighter, but I helped with outside hits. This time, I walked into the arena with a calm soul—because I’ve learned to relax during a game.

The first day of war started at midnight my time, so I joined the next afternoon. A few players were online, and I shouted:
“I’m here for outside hits! Please use me and my overdosed Xanax body!”

They told me: “Do as many as you can.” Woop woop! I was pumped. To make sure I understood, I asked:
“How many minutes between attacks?”
This time, the answer was: “Hit as fast as you can.”

In my head, I was ready for battle—gloves on, breathing heavy, adrenaline pumping. In real life? My heart was racing, not from excitement, but from sheer terror of making another mistake. I opened about 10 profiles to hit. Two of them landed in the hospital before I could attack, so the co-leader sent me fresh targets. After burning through all my Xanax, I was exhausted and sweating tears. It felt like I was sitting in the corner of the boxing ring, medic patting me down, whispering:
“You did good, champ.”

The faction was happy with my performance, and I was overjoyed.

Tip: During wars, speed matters. Open multiple tabs, queue your targets, and hit fast. But don’t forget—every Xanax adds to your addiction. Torn doesn’t judge, but your rehab bill will.

New Tools, New Confusion

After the war, the faction told me about a site to find inactive players to hit. I nodded like I knew what was going on, but honestly? I have no clue. That’s my next Torn adventure—stay tuned!

Tip: Inactives are easy wins for chaining and leveling. But beware—some “inactive” players log in just to hospitalize you for fun.

Meanwhile, this entire war happened next to my husband, who was playing COD, completely oblivious to my facial expressions and exhaustion. Torn life is intense, people.

Traveling Life & Private Island Revelation

On the travel side, things are going great. I watched some YouTube videos and finally understood why I was traveling for free: Private Island perks! Everyone probably knows this, but at the time, I didn’t. So yes, I’m keeping the island.

Trading Adventures: Dark Alley Deals

I’m also exploring trading. A nice player messaged me and explained how it works. I wanted to shout:
“I’M NEW HERE, GUYS!”

My leader showed me which button to click on a profile to start a trade. So I traded my first plushie. It felt like a shady deal in a dark alley—I opened my big trading jacket and pulled out a plushie like it was contraband. I didn’t receive the money yet. Did they steal it? Is it saved in an account? I have no idea—but I hope to find out soon.

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Where can I find earlier chapters?

I recently rejoined TC after YEARS Idle & am rediscovering the whole UI/World, including Forums, again.

Please read chapter 3, there is a link to the other chapters. 

Imagine jumping into Elimination 2025 Event without ever joining a Faction War as training wheels period, like I did. ;)

~Week later (I lost track of # of days due to altered sleep chaos), we WON?!?  But I’m crashing!

I can’t believe I spent MILLION$ on FIRST AID Kits!  After my initial stockpiles evaporated. ;(

That was an Experience. 

IF I participate again, I’m aiming for top 5% Team participation Merit, as that’s the only Elimination themed one I don’t have Now. 

I LOVE reading these updates Chris! 😁

You are very much a valued member of the faction!

Your enthusiasm is contagious indeed, and reading this brings me great joy, and I am proud to be the leader of your faction! Thank you for joining us, and thank you for sticking with us!

As always, if you need anything, we're here to help! Thank you!!

❤❤❤

Please continue to write more, I love reading what you write

Chapter 5: World Travel, Hospital Tourism, and My Second Marriage

I’ve officially become a full-time Torn traveler. At this point I think I’ve visited every place in the Torn world at least once. Argentina, Japan, Mexico, the UK, Switzerland, UAE—if there’s a plane going there, chances are I’ve been on it. My life now follows a very sophisticated routine: fly somewhere, buy random expensive things, fly home, repeat.

If Torn had a frequent flyer program, I’d probably be platinum status by now.

My inventory currently looks like the back room of a very confused souvenir shop.

International Hospital Membership

Unfortunately, traveling has also introduced me to a new hobby:

Getting mugged.

Apparently, most Torn players have alarms that tell them exactly when they land.

I do not.

Which means every time I land, someone is waiting like a professional airport robber.

I’ve been mugged so many times that I’m pretty sure the hospitals know me by name in every country.

“Ah yes, Chris again. Let me guess… airport mugging?”

I have tried attacking people while traveling as well, but if I’m being honest, I’m not quite good enough yet. My faction has been incredibly helpful though. They’ve explained how to improve my stats and even gave me some items and drugs to help with training. One of the items was a hotel coupon to increase happiness before training. Now, here’s the funny part: I haven’t used any of those things yet. The combination of drugs and hotels makes me nervous. If you watch enough documentaries, you’ll notice that nothing good ever starts with the words “drugs” and “hotel room” in the same sentence. Somewhere in the back of my mind I’m convinced I might accidentally end up as a statistic.

“Local Torn woman attempts stat training, accidentally creates Netflix documentary.”

But jokes aside, I do plan to try it soon, once I have a proper day free to go to the gym and beat the absolute crap out of some people.

Another big step for me recently was trading. A trader bought a large portion of my plushie and flower collection through the help of my faction co-leader. My first trade was honestly a little traumatic because I had no idea what I was doing. Luckily she walked me through the entire process step by step. If you go to someone’s profile, there’s a little button with two arrows forming a circle. Clicking that button starts a trade. From there you add a description, place the items you want to trade into the window, and then both players go through a series of confirmations before the trade is finalized. And then, finally, the most beautiful thing happens: the money arrives. Sweet, beautiful Torn money. I do still want to complete the plushie collection at the museum one day to earn points or rewards. I’m still a bit foggy on how that works, but once I understand it properly I might dedicate an entire chapter to explaining the mysterious plushie economy.

Since my last post I’ve also participated in two wars. One of them was particularly memorable because my husband joined me for it. During that war I showed him a very interesting tool called the Baldr list, which helps find players with lower stats to attack. To use it, you log in with your API key. If you’re new like me, that probably sounds confusing at first. You get your API key by clicking the small circle in the top right corner of the Torn screen, going to settings, and finding the API section. Once you have that key, you can log into the Baldr list and see potential targets. (Ask a faction mate for the Baldr link)

The war Divorce

Before the war started, I prepared everything carefully and helped my husband get ready. When the war began and none of our faction members were online, we decided to take action ourselves. I watched the hospital timers carefully and saw that one enemy would be released in five or nine minutes (I honestly can’t remember). I told my husband to prepare  nine outside hit from the Baldr list.

Suddenly he turned into an absolute monster.

Attack after attack, perfectly timed.

He completed the setup hits beautifully. When the moment came, I jumped in and delivered the tenth hit, securing the chain bonus. I was jumping around the room celebrating like we had just won the World Cup.

My husband calmly closed the game.

That’s when I realized something important.

I was extremely excited.

He was… not.

After that war I actually told him he should just quit the game. It was a surprisingly difficult decision because he had already reached Level 9. I had just discovered that if someone you recruit reaches Level 10, you receive a reward package with items. Letting him quit right before Level 10 felt painful. For him it was very simple. He deleted the game and carried on with his life like nothing had happened.

The second marriage

Meanwhile, back in Torn, another problem had been bothering me. The rent for my private island was becoming ridiculous. Having a private island all to myself didn’t make much sense anymore. Sure, I enjoyed the luxury lifestyle. The servants. The peaceful island views. The feeling of being rich and important.

But it also gets lonely living alone on an island.

So I made a practical decision.

I decided to get remarried.

I contacted four people in my faction. The fourth one accepted my proposal. He sent me a ring, wrote a four-word vow, and sealed the deal with a kiss. I’m not going to lie, I was a little disappointed by the Three-word vow (Forever and ever). I mean, if we’re getting married, I was at least hoping for a small speech.

But we move forward.

For the sake of this story, let’s call him Mr. M.

Mr. M is Level 27, and I must admit I enjoy a more experienced man. Long before we were even married he sent me fifty lollipops, and I appreciate a man who arrives with gifts. His stats are also much higher than mine, which makes me feel like I married someone who can actually protect me from the international airport mugging community.

The best part is that he moved me into his private island, which means I no longer have to pay for my own.

Now I’ve started wondering something interesting. Do Torn couples actually plan strategies together? Do they train together, trade together, and eventually become some kind of Torn power couple?

If that’s the case, Mr. M and I might have some discussions.

At this point my Torn life includes international hospital visits, plushie trafficking, and a brand-new husband. I’d say things are going pretty well

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Aww, this is brilliant! Do the hospitals give you food as they don't for me? I love your picture on the plane, looks like my room in real life! Venvit and I were laughing when reading your post together!