I have been putting off making this post, for December has been a rough month for me. When this story takes place, I had just started taking care of my mother in hospice. She has since passed and now its time to tell the people of Torn about my incredible fortune.
“There are no losers in gambling, only quitters.”
While not understanding what was going on IRL, I decided to do some gambling. After being up a couple million playing roulette I decided to try my luck at some slots. After a weird streak of winning at $1mil pulls (anyone who plays slots knows you rarely get long streaks of wins) I decided to do something drastic. I never had done $10mil pulls but decided to use my last 40 tokens in EFF IT MODE.
After a handful of pulls, this happened:
18:42:11 - 05/12/25 You gambled $10,000,000 on the slot machine and won $20,000,000,000 with: Atomic, Atomic, Atomic (Radioactive x2000)
I have hit a couple 3 Cars in my day for a Billion, but never expected something like this to happen. I believe it is probably one of the biggest hits in the Torn Casino ever.
It doesn’t end there. After tucking most the money away in stocks, I decided to take my luck to Caches.
I spent a little under a billion on Armor Caches, and on the first pull got this beauty!
21:08:45 - 05/12/25 You opened an Armor Cache and gained a Vanguard Body (Irrepressible)
So while I may have lost my mother on the 17th, I was able to progress in a big way here on TORN.
I would like to thank my faction members and friends in our Nine Hells Alliance for supporting me during this time. Torn is a community I love and lucky to say supported by.
The experience was absolutely worth it, just getting to talk to people in real life about the game, swap stories, and put faces to names was something special.
A few things I learned:
Torn players are incredibly petty — and I say that with admiration. Some will wait years to get revenge for something like mugging them the first week they played.
Out of all the stats in Torn, Karma might secretly be the most important. Having 0 will definitely get you some side-eye.
Torn players can drink a lot, in game and IRL.
Torn players are also surprisingly generous. (Still waiting on someone to donate their entire net worth to me)
If you're betting on a Torn race, forget the stats. Always bet on the name that makes you laugh the most.
Some people actually own the weapons they use in-game. I don’t know whether to be impressed or concerned.
Thanks so much to TornCon and everyone who showed up — it was even better than I expected.
Super Bowl Squares is for the degenerates that don’t know anything about American football.
Squares are Filled!!!
There is a 10x10 grid that you pick squares from. The digits 0-9 are randomly pre-selected and revealed after the squares have all been filled. They represent the last digits of the score for each team, that being the Seahawks and Patriots. At the end of each quarter, if you have the square matching the score, you get a piece of the Pie. No need to know who will win, no need to know who is good. Just pure degeneracy.
Each square will cost 1 Xanax totaling 100 Xanax worth of prizes. I’ll be doubling the prize pool with another 100 Xanax because the Superbowl is my 2nd favorite holiday here in America.
1st Quarter winner will receive 25 Xanax
2nd Quarter (halftime) winner will receive 50 Xanax
3rd Quarter winner will receive 25 Xanax
Final score winner will receive 100 Xanax
Limit 5 squares per Gambler
What you need to do? Just comment what number squares you want and the log of you sending the Xanax to me. If the square has already been taken, you’ll get the next one in line (I sleep sometimes).
I’ll reveal the final grid with the scores after.
If all the squares aren’t filled by the time of the game, well I’ll figure something out.
Does Torn City have a hotline for gamblers anonymous?
It all started with this “You have 0 casino tokens and a current streak of $-6,390,000,000”
Now I’ve had swings before, but with nothing to do, I decided to go for broke… and this happened.
I went broke!
Was Billie this liquid? No. Did Billie sell a bunch of stock blocks so now he has to fly like the poors again? Yes
Nothing is worse than sitting coach in Torn surrounded by bags of plushies and arrowheads.
Billie also had his fun little post removed from the gaming forum when he woke up this morning adding insult to injury. Sorry to those that participated, the contest is gone with all the replies lost.
What is next?
Take a break from gambling?
Billie, did you learn anything?
I’ll leave you all with a quote.
“There are no losers in gambling, only quitters” - Friedrich Nietzsche
Katana 8% Expose $66M
Naval Cutlass 19% Eviscerate $400M
