ovoxo: forum

Which one of you let a 55 NNB shitter in a PA?

Good morning to the community of torn,

I have spent the last 9 months making a deep and detailed analysis of the state of the current TORN committee. I have consulted with the brightest minds in TORN and I have boiled my analysis down to two carefully selected parameters to judge a committee member; Relevance and Perceived Contribution. 

Relevance: how important your presence is to the game

Perceived contribution: how much, based on a multitude of factors, you are deemed to contribute to the committee. 

All opinions expressed an amalgamation of all of the agendas I want to push. Stating this in the comments below does not make you sound intelligent or witty. 

Graph and thing

Any and all discrepancies between the analysis below and the graph are a figment of your own imagination.

Detailed analysis: 

Fear

A veteran of the game who has been in two of the best factions in Torn. Extremely intelligent man in real life, so I have no doubt he has contributed with some absolute zingers to committee chat when prompted.

Sadly, if his committee contribution is anything like his war scores, this is probably never.

Perceived contribution: 1

Relevance: 6

Ceb

Very frequent forum poster, something tells me he is just as frequent in committee discussions. Extremely old account and has seemingly been playing for around 5 years actively now so he’s been here long enough to know his way around.

Perceived contribution: 7

Relevance: 4

-Glitch-

No NW, <8k attacks, 170 days of playtime in 7k days, 188 forum posts. Is this guy like the catering guy for the committee?

Perceived contribution: 1

Relevance: 0

Harley

Sadly I have been around in Torn long enough to remember when Harley was one of the best committee members in Torn. Considerably less active these days, but those who lament the Monarch circle-jerk on the forums should be grateful they never had to experience the JUX circle-jerk. Hope to see you active again soon mate!

Perceived contribution: 7

Relevance: 6

JoesMum

SSL lives matter? I suppose. I cannot imagine someone who willingly cripples their gameplay has much to contribute to the committee.

Perceived contribution: 2

Relevance: 1

Sky

If looking good was a category, the lovely Sky would be in a class of her own. The first of a very short list of “elite” players on the committee, Sky has been HOF mainstay for many years.  Unapologetically herself when it comes to speaking her mind, i think she is absolutely deserving of her ratings. Cheers for everything Sky!

Perceived contribution: 10

Relevance: 9

Wiffle

A great player with years of HOF experience. Sadly, their very limited forum presence implies that they probably don’t post much in the committee.

Perceived contribution: 2

Relevance: 6

Damaster

Has put in an absurd amount of effort for the wiki, bringing it up to scratch and ensuring a consistent quality throughout. Thanks for the initiative and all of hard work over the years Damaster!

Perceived contribution: 7

Relevance: 8

Bumfluff

TORN’s living embodiment of the Dunning Kreuger effect, if Bumfluff’s committee contributions are half as senseless and misleading as his article on “How to lead an elimination” was, I expect that any rational brain within the committee would have began to disregard his input from very early on. In his defence, however, he does appear to have a voice in one of the largest HOF factions in TORN - something we are all extremely grateful for.

Perceived contribution: 1

Relevance: 4

Riot

When consulting his team for committee options, it shocks me that Ched saw an individual that named his faction, company and dog after himself and thought “hm yes”

I suppose if you want advice on hiding behind CR for half a decade, achieving absolutely nothing with your faction and then selling it, Riot is your man.

Perceived contribution: 2

Relevance: 4

Freyja

HOF mainstay for many years and seems like a lovely lady. 

Perceived contribution: 3

Relevance: 4

Untouchable

An absolute terror in war and like Sky, one of the very select handful of elite players amongst the committee. An amazing player, a really cool guy and in my very limited interactions with him, I have little doubt that he posts straight heat in the committee chats. Cheers for the hard work Unt and grats on 100b stats!

Perceived contribution: 8

Relevance: 9

DrChrono

One of the best minds in Torn that I have had the pleasure of working with. I had an extremely fun time fighting alongside DrChrono during Ireland 2.0. Extremely meticulous and highly analytical, if even a fraction of his efforts are brought forward to committee discussions he would automatically be one of the best members there.

Perceived contribution: 8

Relevance: 8

Mead

Prob Riot’s multi to agree with him on how to hide behind a HOF and sell your shit faction. 

Perceived contribution: 0

Relevance: 1

Bug

Found a few bugs. Kinda cool. Got a fancy item named after him.

Perceived contribution: 4.5

Relevance: 3

Heasley4hemp

Incredible coder, leader of JFK’s favourite sub faction and all round great guy even if the bastard has had me on both friends and enemies list for like 2+ years. No doubt he’s contributed a ton to the committee over the years.

Perceived contribution: 7

Relevance: 6

Stewie

Great guy as discussed in the staff ratings. Very glad that all of his efforts over the years have earned him a well deserved spot in the committee. I am deeply sorry that you have been hidden behind Deatvert on my graph. 

Perceived contribution: 8

Relevance: 6

Penicillin

The most powerful player in the game and one of the most wealthy. In a committee full of ED&I hires and waning HOF voices, it is very refreshing to see the leader of the strongest faction in Torn able to represent the upper echelon of the game.

Perceived contribution: 9

Relevance: 10

Megalomaniacal

Great guy and best known for leading Nub Navy many years ago. Undoubtedly put in a ton of effort representing the middle tier of factions in an era where the committee was filled with HOF voices such as Z_Junior, Deft and Midknight. Sadly not as active these days.

Perceived contribution: 6

Relevance: 5

MsExa

Definitely a bogie hire to fill a quota. Prob says shit like "I am not in the right headspace to discuss committee matters" and prefers discussions on Frank Green vs. Stanley.

Perceived contribution: -0.5

Relevance: 1

Scruffy

Played the game for what feels like forever and a very solid player. Cheers for the work over the years scruffy!

Perceived contribution: 6

Relevance: 3

Stretch

Already glazed him enough in the staff post. Top man, cheers for everything over the years.

Perceived contribution: 9

Relevance: 10

Proxima

Has a God complex because he shoves a physics shaped dildo up his arse nightly and uses big words that none of us understand like “genuinely” and “by-large”. Wrongfully rejected a committee position for many years because Ched is a moron, but Prox’s efforts in making the game mechanics understandable to the layman over the years made him undeniable. Cheers for the great work Prox.

Perceived contribution: 10

Relevance: 10

Dolfwagos

I assume Dolf got a committee spot for being friends with Bogie and Harley. Really nice of them to bring him along with the ride. Kind of like me with Uncle and Champ. Sadly Bogie went corporate and Harley hasn’t been since 2017.

Perceived contribution: 2

Relevance: 2

Dance

Probably a bogie diversity hire.

Perceived contribution: 1

Relevance: 1

Sugarvalves

Top man, the Alaister Campbell ov Torn. I don’t think it is appreciated enough how important the newspaper is for new/lesser informed players to stay up to date on current affairs. Thanks for keeping it unbiased at all times and always providing a comprehensive outlook on all situations - we love ya mate!

Perceived contribution: 7

Relevance: 7

Trychy00

Honestly thought this was one of them Ukrainian tester accounts that Ched bought a quadcopter for with 811 and Uncle’s money. 

Perceived contribution: 1

Relevance: 1

Vladar

Creator of that insanely cool stat calculator that I and countless others used more times than we could imagine. Sadly not as active these days, but thanks for creating something loved by so many!

You were leading the Honey Badgers at the time and you had this really annoying co-leader named John that kept trying to recruit my guys. Not relevant but just thought I’d add it here.

Perceived contribution: 6

Relevance: 5

DeKleineKobini

Creator of TornPDA and has contributed immensely to the improvement of the torn API. Thanks for all your work DKK! You’re a legend.

Perceived contribution: 9

Relevance: 6

Dazzywazzy

Bogie diversity hire. Probably loves IPAs, beer gardens, tasteful banter, owns "man-wipes", burgers that cost £25 served on a metal tray.

Perceived contribution: 1

Relevance: -1

Snowbeast

Lovely guy. Really helpful. Has undoubtedly helped out a ton in committee stuff. Very well known for his amazing work as staff, but sadly not as well known as those above him. Thanks for the good work SB!

Perceived contribution: 6

Relevance: 6

Sulsay

Pisses me off that some bloke without donator status gets to discuss and vote on issues concerning actual players.

Perceived contribution: -1

Relevance: -1

Manuito

Great guy, extremely informed and a huge fan of your work. Thanks for all the hard work mate!

Perceived contribution: 5

Relevance: 3

Absinthian

Vehemently defended Verdenpom from being kicked from her faction. I’ll never forget when this untrustworthy loser tried to poach from her old faction. Absolute wrongun. I wish Realistassasin could join the committee just so he could scare her off from another place once more.

Perceived contribution: 3

Relevance: 2

Austral

I hope you are consulting Ched on how to improve the bookies because it breaks my soul a little seeing you win so much money every week.

Perceived contribution: 5

Relevance: 7

PoliteSheep

Now you’re just taking the piss with these hires bogie tbh

Perceived contribution: 1

Relevance: -1

Vladbull

One of the most well known traders in Torn and a HOF committee member. All round great guy, but it asks how a guy who leads a faction and trades full time has much time for committee stuff? Maybe he is super human, I wouldn’t put it past him.

Perceived contribution: 6

Relevance: 8

OsRevan

I did not include Deatvert on the staff list I made and since he’s the only sentient being I acknowledge in NPO, I will make this about him. Extremely well spoken guy and one of the few bright sparks for Crypto last war. Just an awesome guy all round, if the rumours are true and President Deatvert is no more, wherever you end up at will be lucky to have ya buddy!

Perceived contribution: 8

Relevance: 6

Qfiffle

One of the most dedicated faction leads and culture builders I’ve seen in Torn. Insanely impressive work done on what was a completely unknown faction some two years ago. If Q’s work in the committee is half as impressive as her work done for her faction, I’m absolutely sure that they’re in for a treat.

Perceived contribution: 8

Relevance: 7

Chick

Diversity hire probably. Great at leaking private discord servers.

Perceived contribution: 0

Relevance: 1

Mizadil

This guy bogie really woke up one day and said “hmmm this 160 day old player will make a great addition to decide on the fate of HOF factions”.

Perceived contribution: 1

Relevance: -3

mug

Nobody has done more to develop and grow new players in Torn as mug has. The founder of VnD, JFA2.0, UnLeashed (now Carbon) and WTF, I do not think there is anybody better to speak on the interests of new players than mug. Seems a little less active these days compared to his earlier days. Cheers for all your work over the years mate!

Perceived contribution: 6

Relevance: 9

Rhiannone

A special addition to the committee for her work in improving accessibility for those that are visually impaired. Such a huge job and we thank you a ton Rhiannone! A true unsung hero.

Perceived contribution: 8

Relevance: 2

If you disagree with me on any of these, please take it up with my faction leader.

18:07:49 - 17/11/24 You transferred leadership of your faction to thestud

a well deserved holiday at long last 

Seems weird and tyrannical to ban someone for bringing light to inter-staff canoodling that ultimately resulted in said person being given an admin position. 

YouTube video gKvjtYjKKuU

Omanpx is CRLF but about 350 times better. I don’t think it would be ludicrous to say that he’s had a far bigger impact already than CRLF ever had. 

Some snubs I was surprised about were Midknight, Penicillin, L4Suicide and weebl. 

It does feel like some of the people responsible for these ran out of names choosing people like IceColdCola > Zachjuv, or morons like Sweeney Todd who’s only appearances in Torn over the last two years have been calling THEFERRETT a dickhead  

Hello brother, do the right thing and bomb Ratz please 

Cooler than any staff item I’ve ever seen, the GOAT of the forums deserves nothing less. Excited to see who else gets what 

Edit: the attention to detail on this is ridiculous

MyanmarMonarchCP strikes again 

Not reading that essay

Couldn’t name more than 3 crypto leads if my life depended on it. Can confirm Mike’s the only reason we didn’t just take it all and prolong the fighting for a further 3 months. 

Proud of my friends and the amazingly fast growth you’ve exhibited. I’m no mathematician but a 100k definitely seems on the horizon if a 50k can be achieved with only 65 members. 

Congrats guys!!

MONARCH BOMB TWO BABY LETS GOOOOOOOOO

edit: why would Chain Reaction do this?

How many more posts before MeanMohammed comes in to tell us that if he wanted to bomb us he would have

Couldn’t be prouder of my team. Mike Gem and Adobi are some of the best leads in Torn and the team they’ve built is something special.
Research over the years has often been the overlooked sibling of the family and it’s been so great to be apart of the ride that’s put us on the map seperate to the achievements of big bro HQ. 

Lots of love and congratulations my friends, and thanks for tolerating this guy so the rest of us don’t

Hello are chain reaction recruiting I have no stats but I have lots of karma

Thank you to the former leaders of IF who worked with myself, Uncle, Champion and FidelCashflow yesterday evening to reconcile the vault to try and make sense of some of the creative accounting. 

A little background for outsiders. Per IF policy, Rifty never allowed more than $25b in the vault at any given time to ensure vault scams would never materially affect the members. What was done with the remaining funds I’m not quite sure. Maybe kept on his person, or sent to one of his internet whores. 

It is important to note that the vault, much like any other faction vault was just that. This is entirely separate to the “fund” that has been referenced many times. 

Our reconciliation found $91b in member deposits. -$35b in unexplained negative balances (including $26b for NutPunch and $18b for someone named Shumi) and a grand total of $100m in the vault. 

All in, I estimate that well over $150b has been siphoned off between member deposits and investments. 

Edit:

For anybody curious, the armoury in question can be located here. If this is worth $150b, I have an investment fund offering 4% to sell you. 

WW chain break machine go brrr 

This is an absolute f**king clown show now

rushed the background, maybe I’ll redo it 

v2

Can we please get a fact check from Journalist Pinguux🐧 (always transparent🪟)?

From my knowledge of the situation what I can see here is the following chain of events:

• Rifty gets scammed and suffers headloss.
• Ana is “given” control of the fund.
• WW offer to help IF by leading the faction while Rifty takes some time. 
• WW begin asking some questions. 
• Discrepancies in finances surface.
• Rifty no longer wants said help.
• Ana is now somehow liable for the blame despite never running, nor managing the fund. 

It all smells like shit to me. All very calculated and designed to let the biggest clown in Torn take the fall for Rifty pissing away other peoples money. Love ya Rifty, but said love won’t last very long if this is the route you’re going to take.