Superman is flying around when he suddenly felt horny. As he flies over the city he spots Batman. He stops to ask Batman if he knew of an easy woman for him to have sex with. Batman tells him to try wonder woman. Superman flew away angrily because she was a friend of his. While flying away he noticed Aquaman. He approached him and asked if he knew of an easy woman for him to have sex with. Aquaman suggested Wonder woman. Superman man got angry because she's a friend of his and he flies off. As he flies over a field he notices Wonder woman alone, on her back, naked. He hadn't realized how attractive she actually was and since he's faster than a speeding bullet, he assumed he could fly down, penetrate her, and fly away, without her realizing what happened. So he flies down, goes in, and out, and flies away. Wonder woman is startled and leaps to her feet yelling "what the hell was THAT?!" The invisible man then replies "I have no idea, but my ass just got shredded!"
Week 2 winners: there were only a few posted between 4/21 - 4/27 and It was too difficult to decide on top 3 out of 4, but here it is. first place is:
A couple of cows are hanging out in the field when one turns to the other and says, "hey, have you heard about this Mad Cow Disease going around? Sounds pretty awful." The other cow nods, "Yeah. Makes me glad I'm a penguin, you know?"
2nd place: Why can"t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the 'P' is silent
3rd place:
Three religious members of their faith challenged each other on a test of faith. They were to jump from a high rise building and whoever survives the jump will win proving that their faith in their chosen religion was so strong that they will be saved. The first to jump was a man of Islam. Upon jumping the building, He shouted. "ALLAH!" "ALLAH!" "ALLAH!" many times but upon reaching the ground he died with a splash. This shocked onlookers. The second to jump was a Buddhist man. Upon jumping the building, He shouted. "BUDDHA!", "BUDDHA!", "BUDDHA!" many times. When he was close to the ground he miracously stopped short amd floated inches from the ground and slowly came back up the top of the building. This amazed the onlookers, The last man was a Christian, he saw what the Buddhist man did and this strengthened his faith. He then also jumped immediately from the building and shouted: "JESUS!" "JESUS!" JESUS!" many times. When he was close to the ground fearing for his life he then shouted "BUDDHA!", "BUDDHA!", "BUDDHA!" many times and he floated back to the top of the building too.
A priest, a lawyer, and a teacher are all on a sinking ship, when they noticed a group of children screaming for help.
The teacher says, "Someone please help the children!"
The lawyer says, "f**k the children!"
The priest says, "Do we have time?" 2nd place:
There were 3 Guys who escaped from a Prison. The Prison guards were catching up to them. After running for hours, the 3 guys reached a barn wherein there were 3 empty sacks. Each of the 3 guys picked up their own sack hid inside. The guards entered the barn, they looked around and saw the 3 sacks laying neatly at the ground. One of the guards kicked the first sack. "Meow! Meow!" Said the 1st sack. "Its just a cat, check the next one" the prison guard said. Then the guard kicked the second sack. "Woof! Woof!", Said the 2nd sack. "Its just a dog"
"Check the next one" the prison guard said. Then the guard kicked the last sack, but there was no sound. The guard kicked again and again the last sack. "HEY! STOP KICKING ME! I'M POTATOES! POTATOES!"
3rd place:
What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Answer: Dam!
I'll send prizes out today. New contest begins if anyone had a joke.
Superman is flying around when he suddenly felt horny. As he flies over the city he spots Batman. He stops to ask Batman if he knew of an easy woman for him to have sex with. Batman tells him to try wonder woman. Superman flew away angrily because she was a friend of his. While flying away he noticed Aquaman. He approached him and asked if he knew of an easy woman for him to have sex with. Aquaman suggested Wonder woman. Superman man got angry because she's a friend of his and he flies off. As he flies over a field he notices Wonder woman alone, on her back, naked. He hadn't realized how attractive she actually was and since he's faster than a speeding bullet, he assumed he could fly down, penetrate her, and fly away, without her realizing what happened. So he flies down, goes in, and out, and flies away. Wonder woman is startled and leaps to her feet yelling "what the hell was THAT?!" The invisible man then replies "I have no idea, but my ass just got shredded!"
https://www.torn.com/forums.php#/p=threads&t=16246771&to=21876483 If it hasn't been mentioned, I was under impression that Caymans is the only country you can be mugged immediately. I'd assume it's to balance the luxury of having 2 bank accounts.