(sorry Lexibird, I ended up going with my MS Paint banner as, yours was going to look too nice for the quality of this post)
(Please don't send me to "Fun and Games" purgatory, pllleeeeeaassseeee)
TL;DR: ODB, HAKA and BLACK STATUES members will be venturing out into the Torn Community to select some lucky newer players to coach, gear up and inevitably send into a bracketed single elimination competition with prizes and fun times to be had. We invite you to come on the journey with us!
G'day everyone!
This is my first attempt at an event like this, my formatting will be terrible, I'm going to waffle on and have spelling mistakes, so let's see if it crashes and burns or gets off the ground and becomes a yearly event together.
The Concept:
I wanted to make a lighthearted, positive and educational event where we can, as a faction family, uplift the ever-growing community in one of the key aspects of the game, Attacking and Defending.
Participating members will be selecting individuals within a total battle stat range, gearing them in basic "attainable" gear (with some exceptions for rule of cool) and get them to attack each other in a gladiatorial style event with the losers keeping the gear and the advice and the winners picking up prizes if they go deep enough in the competition.
We've got some rules that'll probably go to shit and a competitive group of degenerates which will take this all too far but that's the core idea.
Event Details:
Event will start and brackets will be released on the 00.01 TCT 21st of September 2026 and posted below
Participants will have 3 days to complete their attack, at which point they'll either move on or get knocked out.
Prizes will be supplied to Top 4, losers get to keep their gear!
I've hired a 2D animation artist to animate an attack log each round for some viewing pleasure
I'll be posting Noob "player profiles", Feature matches w/ times so you can jump in and watch the loaders in real-time and a wrap up after its all said and done.
Gambling will be allowed but not enforced or controlled by me, intentional interference will not be tolerated.
Theory-craft your perfect bum noob fighter in a post below!
Noob Details:
You must be below 100k Total Battle Stats at the point of cut off.
We will provide you with a set of armor and weapons, Sponsors have the option to give you god awful BB quality RW weapons (under 80 total when adding damage and accuracy) or actual solid grey rifles and everything in between. This is perfect practice for when Travel 2.0 allows for "budget" sets to be taken overseas.
You must be willing to log on and use 25e once per round attacking your assigned opponent
You must not breach any of the gearing/consumable or other T&Cs that we will educate you on if you're selected. Doing so will get you kicked and placed on a Halloween list or two with that event just around the corner.
Please don't spam every member of our faction family if you're interested, just post below and our scouts will pick you up!
edit: We have our first donation, which will be added into the noobies winnings pool. Please dont send me lots of stuff, we've got the prizes sorted <3 - 22:51:41 - 11/08/26 BackStabbath sent $10,000,000 to you with the message: Bumfight donation 02:49:31 - 12/08/26 FINGERBLASTER sent $50,000,069 to you with the message: BUMFIGHTS! <3 05:15:39 - 12/08/26 Karlix sent an Injury Cache to you with the message: Bum fights donation. Give it to the first one eliminated 10:10:56 - 12/08/26 CarpeNoctem sent a Feathery Hotel Coupon to you with the message: Bum fights donation 03:03:40 - 13/08/26 TheMadTatter sent $10,000,000 to you with the message: Fight donation 08:50:54 - 22/08/26 You were sent $20,000,000 from Breadybun1 with the message: Bum Fights Donation, looking forward to the fight 09:31:36 - 22/08/26 XXXXXXX sent $1,000,000 to you, This absolute baller asked to remain anon
I made it, just. 400 Awards in under 365 Days Played (364 and a few hours)
I definitely wasn't the fastest, the best or the most efficient in pulling this achievement off but I had a load of fun doing it, I think I've experienced a lot of what this game has to offer in awards hunting.
My next goal is going to be trying to keep my Awards ahead of my Days played for as long as possible, I'm unsure how long I can hold off the inevitable overtake but I'll try.
I'd like to give a massive thank you to all the people who assisted me along this journey, TNU for taking me in and teaching me the ropes, HAKA for helping me thrive and ODB for letting me join in on their adventures and getting me across the line. (I should NOT have left the last 14 awards to the last 3 days...)
Still require 130 Defends Open from 23:00 - 10:00 (If you hit outside of this time period, I'll be asleep, I'll get the money to you when I wake up unless Closed) No Minimum or Max amount of hits
Currently working on unarmored kill merit so be kind.
CLOSED thanks everyone
09:18:40 - 23/09/25 You were awarded the medal: Solid as a Rock (Successfully defend against 2,500 attacks)
With the short break for our bums to fly around waiting for restock timers out of the way we started the Quarter finals off strong with a true David vs Galiath match up, Our lowest stated bum vs our highest stated bum and I can confirm he did land a shot on him, Which I was very impressed with!
We had some interesting temps being utilised which you'll see in Mikzcools animation and some clear strategies coming out to play with ALOT of questions being asked around the fine print of delaying, flying and med bagging to postpone attacks, thankfully we got it all ironed out and our semi final noobs remain!
Alrighty Iv finished my long car drive and I'm a good boy who doesn't use their phone while driving so Iv clearly missed a bit. We all good? Ready to get back to the competition? We're moving into the Semi finals lads and ladesses, the pointy end of the competition!
I'm going to send some messages around confirm we're good to progress and then finalise the brackets.
Time between rounds is going to drop to 2 days.
I'm going to ask our competitors to publically place down their attack times in the comments so we can jump into the loaders to watch the attacks unfold, if they start getting griefed I'll ask them to attack in private (so refrain from the fucktardness please so we can watch some noobs slap eachother)
I will not be placing my opinion in about any part of this gambling stuff, I said it from the start that gambling is fine but I will not adjudicate any of it. Halloween is around the corner have at it then <3
"I ain't doing a full character design (for now) as this shi took nearly a week. But no worries, I'll make the fights more entertaining. I just don't want to sacrifice sleep."
I'd also like to acknowledge vladimirium, one of the noobies knocked out in round 2. After accepting a re-do of an attack which turned into a loss for his round he was incredibly sporting and essentially took the loss when he didn't need to. Much respect mate!
With some of teething issues of round 1 out of the way we dove into round 2!
Round 2 started with bloodshed out of the gates; we had a lot of noobies attacking early to try catch their opponents off guard and trying to lock in that lowest stat tiebreaker. (Stats are snapshot from attack not defense, so if you can snag a win at your lowest stats for the round then you've got a higher chance of pulling off the round win)
We also had a request by a noobie who had received 2 OD's in a row to delay his attack till after he was off Xanax CD which I accepted cause the poor guy well OD'd twice in a row... he unfortunately still lost but I respect the ask!
We're going to take a small break to let the bums fly around for Tourism day, fighting will commence again on the 29th of September 00.01 TCT, Brackets will be updated though to allow for some early betting as we step into the Quarterfinals!
Animation's!
I'm trying not to put too much pressure on them to finish their works so check in regularly for updates, I'll be posting them under each round wrap up!
I'll edit this later or put my wrap up for round 2 bellow, but we will be on a short hiatus to let the noobs fly for "Tourism Day", the killing will start again on the 29th of September 00.01 TCT!! Sorry for the delay in bloodshed!
I'm happy to receive any and all feedback! I want to run more events in the future and I'll take my learnings from this event and use them to sculpt the best events I can for the Torn community!
I appreciate the feedback and what you've written.
For the next event I'll be looking at supplying clear "Rules packs" to each participant to make sure everyone is on the same page and to allow for any alterations to be clear and accurate across the board.
I'll take into consideration the stats information and look to improve that next time with either seeding or seperate brackets for stats to try create a "fairer" fight
I didn't want to impact the participants growth anymore than I already had placing the event so far in advance due to my personal holiday I took and Elims.
The idea was for everyone to be bellow 100k stats at the 18th of September Weigh in point and then allow for training throughout the event, only one participant failed that weigh in. Clearly I wasn't clear enough with this as half of the field stayed at 100k and the other half shot ahead.
We've had round wins by people still below 100k using smart tactics and strategies but I agree that stat disparity has creeped out alot.
I appreciate the feedback and I'll think on doing this better next event.
What a time that was! Pure chaos and nearly exclusively because I didn't run as tight of a ship with information as I thought I was.
Before I dive into the round itself I'd like to make a public apology to CrashBeats, LegionDynasty69, SamHail and Ceb, who I've let down in this event with my lack of clear communication and tracking, I hope in future events I can make up for these errors so you can truly experience E Tu Whanau Production Fun!
Looking back at round 1 it reminds me how sweaty/competitive some of our members can be, the moment we hit the 18th of September mark and the weight-ins had been completed THEY WERE OFF! With a force-fed diet of erotic woog-related DvDs and poisonous mistletoe on the side, a few of our noobies have skyrocketed in stats causing for a call for a stats check, this completed with the use of an API key to review individuals' gym gains. After a review everyone was found to be clean and with our last few attacks coming in overnight the new brackets have been released, attacks can commence as of September 24th 00.01 TCT
WE WILL BE TAKING A VERY SMALL BREAK AFTER ROUND 2 TO LET INDIVIDUALS PARTICIPATE IN THE "TOURISM DAY" EVENT, WE WILL COMMENCE ATTACKING AGAIN ON THE 29th of SEPTEMBER 00.01 TCT, THIS DOES NOT EFFECT ROUND 2!
Animation's! I have been lucky enough to secure 2 animators this year with different styles! I'm trying not to put too much pressure on them to finish their works so check in regularly for updates, I'll be posting them under each round wrap up!