From the 310 newest archived posts.
Likes as archived at fetch time, adjusted for how long each post had been up. Scored posts only; the full score pass runs after the import.
Buying bulk losses (minimum of 5) for 310k each.
Paying out when online - usually 0800-2200 TCT
Please DM “done” when you’ve finished your set of losses :)
Thanks to everyone who has sold me losses, I am now finished and no longer buying!
20:21:56 - 07/01/26 You were awarded the honor: Leaderboard
17:17:59 - 06/01/26 You were awarded the medal: Fortress (Successfully defend against 10,000 attacks)
Increase your battle stats FAST and get the Ecstatic merit!
TLDR: Selling solo 99k happy jumps at a date and time that suits you. The cost is only 12 EDVDs. Send me a DM to get your 99k happy jump booked in.
Why do a 99k happy jump?
The higher your level of happy when you train at the gym, the bigger the gains in your battle stats. The highest you can get your happy to is 99,999.
The biggest impact of 99k happy jumps is when any of your individual battle stats are below 800k. Having said that, if you're above 800k, you'll still notice increased gains.
To calculate what gym gains you can get on a 99k happy jump vs the way you currently train, check out this gym gains calculator.
You will also get the ecstatic merit if its the first time you’re jumping to 99k.
How do I do a 99k happy jump?
1. Get your required items: 2 x poison mistletoe, 4 x xanax, 1-3 EDVDs, 1 x ecstasy and 30 points for an energy refill.
2. Agree a date and time to do your 99k happy jump, stack to 1,000 energy (with 4 xanax), ensure you have no cooldown and check-in 1 hour before.
3. Use your 2 poison mistletoe at the agreed date and time.
4. Use 1-3 EDVDs to ensure your happy is at least 50,000.
5. Use 1 ecstasy to reach 99,999 happy.
6. Train all of your energy at the gym.
7. Use 30 points for an energy refill and train at the gym.
8. Optionally use additional energy refills, e-cans, FHCs, newsletters, etc. to train additional energy at the gym for more gains.
What if I overdose during my 99k happy jump?
You have the option of getting insurance for your jump, which will cover the value of your items so that you can replace them.
I recommend getting insurance through Securop who is trustworthy, reliable and has been doing this for years. More details here.
In the event of an overdose, you will need to send your logs to Securop and he will compensate you directly.
Sign up for your 99k happy jump
DM me on Torn to get you booked in for your 99k happy jump!
I'm happy to answer any questions you may have and look forward to guiding you through your next happy jump.
Terms & conditions
The fee of 12 EDVDs must be paid in advance, at the time of booking your date and time for your happy jump.
For solo jumps, you must either be available on DMs or on Discord during the jump.
The 12 EDVD fee is refundable if cancelling the happy jump at least 72 hours before.
What a trip! I can't believe it but I managed to hit the 500 awards mark in 499 days! This beats the previous record by 23 days! 🎉
Fresh after getting the revive skill from 1-100 in 19 days, I thought seeing how quickly I could get to 500 awards would be a cool challenge.
Taking a look through the Achievements forum, I was pretty sure that the current record was 522 days by Daibb. I had a good feeling I could beat this but it was going to take some work!
Grabbing the Wind Lines Travel stock, reading the What Are Old Folk Good For Anyway? book (25% extra XP) and equipping a 37% Proficience MP5 Navy helped my chances. Also being at a super-supportive Nub Navy made a big difference too, thanks guys!
Having been ultra focussed on this goal for weeks, I bit the bullet, made a painful church donation and took my first SE to take me to 500 awards!
Some might say that was a waste of networth but, with that record in sight, I was not going to give up. Torn should be all about having fun and this challenge was a boatload of fun!
So what's next? Back to the gym! I'm planning on hitting Elimination hard this year, hopefully take part in a 100k chain over Halloween and grind those bust and crime merits.
Dividends going out to a random selection of people soon!
Well that was fun! I thought I'd set myself the challenge of speed-running my revive skill from 1-100 to see how quickly I could do it. I managed it in 19 days, 20 hours, 56 minutes and 5 seconds with 1,984 revives 🎉
Big thanks to Nuclear Clinic for letting me guest, TheFelineHealer for providing inspiration for this challenge, Ched for a last minute buff to love juice and to all of you ODing, warring and being downright criminal.
I think this might be a new record but I'm not sure. I believe that the previous record was 24 days, 23 hours, 49 minutes and 54 seconds, set by Gatlis [3160032]. If it was the fastest, then it has just been broken by more than 5 days.
Dividends in the form of Xanax will be going out to randomly selected people!
Statistics
Revive skill to 100 in 19 days, 20 hours, 56 minutes and 5 seconds
1,984 successful revives (94.3%)
120 failed revives (5.7%)
Highest streak: 221 revives
54 Xanax taken with 2 ODs
20 energy refills
86 FHCs used
4 love juice used
Received: $45.2m, 119 Xanax, 4 cans of Crocozade, 1 LSD, 23 bottles of beer, 1 box of medical supplies, 1 can of Munster, 1 six-pack of alcohol, 5 chamois plushie, 1 box of sweet hearts, 10 empty blood bags, 1 cherry blossom
16:35:03 - 04/02/26 You used 25 energy successfully reviving Callogs out of hospital and gained 0.7000 reviving skill
13:31:08 - 24/02/26 Your reviving skill level increased to 100
The term ‘Xmas’ comes from Greece, X is the Greek symbol for Christ
Incredible achievement, big congrats! I’ve had great fun watching you smash record after record - keep it up!
Massive congrats to Nub Air Force!
Thanks for letting me be part of this historic 100k chain.
A big thank you to Cheesinater, the chain watchers and everyone who took part. It was great fun and a brilliant atmosphere :)
Speedy and safe trade, would definitely recommend :)
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Now in Auction House - ends in 3 days
SOLD
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Now on AH, ends in 3 days
Happy bidding
Thanks for a swift, safe and professional trade
Awesome achievements! Keep going!
Top work, well done! Hope you smash those 400 and 500 award records too - I’ll be looking out for your achievement posts for those as well! :)
Slick and professional - a great, fast service for buying losses. I’ve used Unmatched Services twice so far and will again :)
Sign me up please :)
Thanks for a quick and safe trade :)
Speedy and safe trade, thanks Kas
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