Duke: forum

Great job ya fucken loser. What thing that ain't happened are yous gonna genurate next? A movie of your mom sayin' she loves ya?

Heres a mission for ya, chump. Go offline for 3 hours while everyone in Torn buymugs your bazaar and posts the everdance in this thread. Biggest mugs get prizes from the DUKE.

Halyangx's Bazaar

This ain't cause I'm non binaries it's cause there's a bunch of  Dukes inside this head of mine. Reckon takin that felovax gave me that male mental health they keep talkin about where yous got multiple personalitys. Sometimes it's nice Duke or generus Duke other times its kick your ass cut your lips off and cook your dog Duke. Brains like a box of chocolates ain't I even know what your gonna get every day. 

Duke thinks yous oughta spend less time speculatin on what Duke does with his Wang and more time in the gym cause dukes about to whack yous off hard pal. They ain't gonna know weather to put yous down as male or female when I finished with yous.

I ain't no homophone though so yous guys and girls and them what are full of gender fluids are welcome to shoot your shot at DUKE. I aint revealin nothin about what I'm into. Weather you get a shank or a smooch is a surprise like Christmas... capiche?

Dukes paid out for this to a bunch of folks. Happy new years ya freaks.

yous aint right in the Brian pal merry christmas

Merry Christmas ya lucked out chump heheheheheh.

Duke payed out somethin like 40 or 50 masks but these were dukes favorites merry christmas

Toshi 

Papanad 

-bald-ronin-

Kriegerbot 

Fluffy-kitten

Aiker26

Potoo

Certacito

F4ankSinatra 

Karlvog 

Yraelfishmonger 

Dtuned 

Nyuu

Gerardthe2nd

_lala_

Qdat 

On the twelfth day of Christmas bastin' dukey gave to meee, 2000 books of carols, more cans, more booze, lawyer business cards, porn, stat enhancers, and some rare sweaters. Duke is dumpin most of this stuff all throughout the day in between bites of turkey and toilet time. Yous want a stat enhancer or a sweater? All yous gotta do is post a picture from your christmas day. Whatever it is yous are doin show us even if its eatin, wipin your grandpas chin, makin cookies, beatin the shit out of your cousin Barry, or whatever. I dont care. Show the duke. Include your name and number in the picture. Keep it clean or at the verry least blurr out your uncles weiner.

Duke aint goin through that shit today maybe not even tomorrow but yous maybe get a prize later in the week when dukes recovered. Prizes gonna be paid out at random to ones that are good. That makes sense to duke dont questun it. In the meantimes dont forget to send duke some cash for a present. The newspaper man said to figure out the clue and send that amount in money but SO MANY DUMBASSES ARE JUST CHATTIN DUKE WITH THE NUMBER ARE YOU INSAIN? Anyways merry christmas ya freaks.

heheh one of em must be the ghost of christmas pants 

Dukes seen funnier stuff at the childrens hospital. No seriously those kids really crack me up. To everyone what said yous put the milk in BEFORE cereal sheesh dukes sides split I bet yous are the funniest guys in your office eh duke dont got enough laughter emojis for that one why dont use tell me  the same joke FIFTY MORE TIMES.

Heres what won. Dont like the ones I picked? Come pick a fight with me and yous be eatin christmas dinner through a straw. not a good straw neither one of them paper ones from mac donalds. Bout twenty runner-ups got christmas gonks so dont whine that duke aint generus cause aint most of em not deserve it.

WINNERS

Rachaelbee

Unknown 

Holrow 

Boobfeeler 

Jonslow 

On the eleventh day of Christmas chilled out dukey gave to meeee, thousands of cans and 250 Snowman Masks. Yeah thats right just like your ma Dukes got a nice set of cans and I'm ready for the dump. Duke might sprinkle some of them snowman masks in the trash too i dunno. Yous wanna win one? Make a damm snowman! 

It aint cold where duke is and duke hears it aint so cold nowhere these days cause of all them artifishul insemination machines heatin up the oceans. Duke saw a documentarie and them dolphins are gettin cooked from the outside from climert change but theyre raw in the middle. Youd think the water would go in the blowhole and cook em internally but nope what does duke know?

Anyways, yous gonna have to use your imaginashun on this one. Snowman outta cheese or mud? Yeah okay pal. Crafty little snowman outta cotton balls or paper yeah FINE! Yous wanna dress up like a snowman and paint your naked ass all white? You know dukes gonna like that. Duke asks that its a REAL PHOTO with your NAME in it no drawings. This is the last time dukes gonna ask yous to do somethin cause christmas day is real easy so in the words of my old pall Jeff make an effort for me kids. 

On the tenth day of Christmas vengeful dukey gave to me, 2,000 FHCs and Five Orange Armors.

The FHCs are goin in the dump. Armors are in Dukes display. Yous wanna get your greasy mitts on em? Yous gotta enter Dukes bounty lottery. All yous gotta do to enter is put bounties on someone with a reason that’s gonna make Duke laugh. Then take a screenshot and post it in this thread. Minimum $50,000 you cheapskates. Tomorrow Dukes gonna go through em and the ones what make me laugh the most get armors. Maybe Duke will have some runner-ups too if yous deserves it but after yous kids murdered chris rear with your crappy singin maybe not.

Duke was just thinkin the same thing. Torn City killed Chris Rear. I know yous are all talentless schmucks but sheesh.

Next competishun is to do an impresshun of elong musk.

Heres the grovelin lil scumbags what got their loans wiped. Duke gave consolashuns to the ones who aint listed who were good but not THAT good. If yous complain or aint like this post dukes gona wipe yous out real good.

Killian- 

Dasterman 

Rowdybuster 

Sam

Strayben 

Heasleys4hemp 

Hogfather 

Davell

LouCypher

BlackDReborn

On the ninth day of Christmas tricksy Dukey gave to meee,  5,000 Moonshines + 1,000 Christmas Gonks. What do yous mean yous aint know what a gonk is? Its this crap here.

Booze gets dumped and so do a bunch of gonks. Yous want a gonk? Make the gonk something delicious as an offering. Them gonks are sposed to protect your home but the label says these ones are nasty and will f**k your shit up if yous dont feed em. Yous need to make the gonk some kind of delishush treat to appease em. Dunno if that means you gotta put peas in it??? Probably not. Duke thinks you should make christmas cookies or a ham or some weird dish only people from where yous are from ever heard of. Duke dont care so long as its food. Take a photo. Put your name in it. Anythin what looks reasonably ederbul that aint just been stolen off a cookery website might get a gonk.

NOTE FROM DUKE: Your name gotta be on a peace of paper in the image. And post your pictures in the damm webbsite i aint clickin no links.

Hey congratulashuns to all the dumasses what posted their entrys for this on the WRONG DAY you real smart eh? No prizes for you. Heres the people what actually won cause they got the TIME ON THEIR HANDS and NO RESPONSERBILITIES. Whats that theres somethin like 40 winners not 10? Yeah dukes a lier deal with it.

Felixmatthias 

fluffy-Kitten 

Fissure26

Sickwitch 

ImGonnaDieAgain

Swedeheart

T34rg4s

Cooksta

Cosmic_Meraki 

acreature 

Hurricanehanz0

Speedy1612 

Arthevariel 

Jane_Eyre

Daftvino

Sarmackey

Knight_Seek

Justjanet 

Mikzcool

Tiyea

-xaythe 

Qfifflepg

Myrrhkuri 

Totalfiascohere 

Lekalissu 

Beesly

Infinitea 

Erola 

Jellyfish

Ladyvoldemort

Mnjr 

SilentAngel-

Coros

Ugh

Lexibird

Lovii 

Margargareth

Lorelei-Rose

On the eighth day of Christmas emperthetic dukey gave to meeee, 5,000 Cans and 10 Loan Forgivenesses.

Usual story chumps. Dukes gonna dump cans all day and yous gonna fish around for em and complain when you aint get one. Heh. Dukes startin to think he gets off on people whinin. Whats you gotta call that? Sulkofilia or somethin? I dunno.

Okay heres the part where yous numbnuts pay attenshun. Yous got a loan with the duke? Yous can get it paid off if yous record a video begging the Duke for it to get wiped. Yous gotta keep sayin "Duke wipe me I wanna be wiped" in your video and its gotta be real sad and emoshunal and make Duke feel like yous really need it okay? Best ten get their loans wiped. Yous aint got a loan? Take one out or dont enter you dumasses.

On the seventh day of Christmas jolly Dukey gave to meeee, 2,000 Pornos, 2,000 Drug Packs, and 10 Scream Masks.

First dukes goin through them last few pages of the misseltoe winners cause dukes gonna pay ten of them to everyone what made a effort. yous got twenty if yous actually read the damm thing and posted a video. dukes competishuns are like oprah sometimes yous all get somethin sometimes you aint get no more than five lucky SOBs winning stuff. What was duke sayin? Oh yeah. If yous want a scream mask yous gotta draw the most horrifying christmas in Torn. 

It dont gotta be spooky just a real crappy christmas. and duke wants it HAND DRAWN on PAPER with your NAME on. Yous digitel perverts gotta get your pencils wet NO COMPUTERS capiche? 

duke is a natchural giver so i gave until i aint got a drop left inside me:

MyraQlus 

Beesus

Jellyfish

Lottie

Totalfiascohere

Hstains 

Cheesus

Friddles

Lekalissu

Hurricanehanz0 

Pazor 

Neliex 

Kaszmir 

Lanakane95

Francinepefko 

Amosmc

Lipthetip 

Rocketkat 

Bbensel

Evil_Hamster 

Mikzcool 

Papanad 

Jane_Eyre 

Skein 

Misslou82

Knight_Seek 

Zerotheehero 

Lemongrassss

Gatersinatra

Dasterman

Xerab