A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. All he needed to do was somehow get to the airport, and then he'd be home-free. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home. He offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc... The cabbie said, ''If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!'' So the businessman was forced to hitchhike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight. One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan. The businessman got in the first cab in the line, ''How much for a ride to the airport,'' he asked? ''Fifteen bucks,'' came the reply. ''And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?'' ''What?! Get the hell out of my cab.'' The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result. When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked, ''How much for a ride to the airport?'' The cabbie replied, ''Fifteen bucks.'' The businessman said, ''OK,'' and off they went. Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs, the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each of the other drivers. 2.A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. Mother, where do babies come from? The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex. The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommys vagina. Thats how you get a baby, honey. The child seems to comprehend. Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddys penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that? Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry. 3.A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor. The doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife. That night the two were having sex and found themselves in the 69 position. The man felt the urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol. The next day he went back to the doctor who asked how it went. The man answered, "Not well. When I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit three inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air."
I cant for the life of me remember how to change the banner on my name. It currently shows up camouflage when I'm in jail, Hospital, etc. The last time I changed it was like, 6 years ago, lol. Help!
Wish granted, but you end up with a couple STD's, 20 kids, 10 angry baby mamas, & endless child support. Eventually losing your home & going bankrupt. Which resulted to you on the side of a freeway with a "will work for food" sign.
Is anyone honestly really good at making signatures? Not the "slap a name on a picture" type deal. Or can anyone recommend a good signature maker person!? Please & Thank you.
Idk, its the first thing that popped in my head, lol. I just went with it. Gave me a good laugh in the process. & as for the child support/kids, i'd recommend the vasectomy.
Wish granted, but you end up with a couple STD's, 20 kids, 10 angry baby mamas, & endless child support. Eventually losing your home & going bankrupt. Which resulted to you on the side of a freeway with a "will work for food" sign.
How did you decide who to send to? I've thought about just being generous & sending out random amounts of money to particular people. I cant make a decision on who though.
Is anyone honestly really good at making signatures? Not the "slap a name on a picture" type deal. Or can anyone recommend a good signature maker person!? Please & Thank you.