SHAT Public Relations Dispatch – For Immediate Release
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Despite the relentless slander, libel, misinformation, and tall glasses of Hater-Aid circulating throughout Torn forums, alleyways, and backroom Discord servers… we rise.
![[image: media1.tenor.com]](https://media1.tenor.com/m/roZsKmdRH6cAAAAC/yes.gif){kind=link}
They say we mug.
They say we raid.
They say we use bots, scam newbies, rob traders, and sell tailfeathers on the darknet.
To that, we say:
Bless the Crows!
![[image: media1.tenor.com]](https://media1.tenor.com/m/mlZcruecH5AAAAAd/odin-is-with-us-magnus-bruun.gif){kind=link}
Because SHAT is not the problem—SHAT is the solution! We are Torn’s moral compass, straight and true. We are the shining beacon in a city cloaked in the darkness of greedy decadence and apathy toward the suffering of our fellow hu/wo/man.
![[image: i.ibb.co]](https://i.ibb.co/XfKMfkTb/tenor-5.gif){kind=link}
We give generously, mug charitably, and make Torn a better place one loot bag at a time. And so, to clear the air and silence the lies, we proudly present our latest educational outreach initiative:
BLESS THE CROWS
This initiative aims to remind everyone that Torn is the best place on Earth because the best people choose to live here. Our hope is that anybody operating under the heinous misconceptions and vicious rumors about the Crows at long last can step into the dawn of a new day in Torn where SHAT happens and everyone is happy about it.
Listen. Learn. Bless the Crows.
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![[image: i.imgur.com]](https://i.imgur.com/Je2oVE9.jpeg){kind=link}
To commemorate this initiative, I have prepared an anthem which I will now share with you all
Heads, shoulders, knees, and crows, knees and crows!
Heads, shoulders, knees, and crows, knees and crows!
All our caws make a chorus of Y-YOLOs!
Heads, shoulders, knees, and crows!
Torn dot com full of SHAT slander
Haters gon’ hate, trolls gon’ banter
Clean the slate, Crows be lil’ angels
Polishin’ our halos, lookin’ so graceful
Fat Lump here to set the record straight
SHAT don’t buy-mug, that's just a buncha’ hate
Crows gon' make it rain, canonized sainthood
If we ever did steal, be like real life Robin Hood
SHAT don' ever raid-mug, dat ain’t our style,
Got no beef with the green leaf, Ched bless their pile
We cool with noobs, flyers, traders, gamblers alike
All safe from SHAT, just as soon mug your wife
Heads, shoulders, knees, and crows, knees and crows!
Heads, shoulders, knees and crows, knees and crows!
Ain't no buy-mugs here, SHAT code forbids those
Heads, shoulders, knees, and crows!
They all say SHAT runs a mug bot
Ain’t true all you haters know it’s not
Crows be Ched fearing do-gooders
Miss me among all them greedy looters
We pray to dusk from dawn like it's Ramadan
Come and see all our fleek SHAT philanthropy
Crows ain’t thieves, just call us blessed,
All our funds goin’ to run a Torn orphanage
SHAT’s gold bling built a hospital wing
Ain’t nuthin’ sus about our vault plus
Never told a lie, don’t bother checkin’ up
SHAT be the gold standard that’s what’s up!
Heads, shoulders, knees, and crows, knees and crows!
Heads, shoulders, knees and crows, knees and crows!
We plant peace trees and fund church expos
Heads, shoulders, knees, and crows!
Saint Offertory is our holy intercessor
Patron saint of mugs, Ched gon' bless her
Got a thousand enemies lined up as adoring fans
She be signin’ their autographs with both her hands
Her bounty board’s a Wall of Fame,
Each listing addin' even more clout to her name
She blesses sinful muggers with a sacred prayer
SHAT Public Relations extraordinaire
Mr Right always forgives his debtor
Most honest trader in Torn, ain’t none better
Whom reppin’ SHAT as every bully’s doom
Big fat bounty contracts be namin’ you soon
Nippythefish got no wings but he still flyin’ high
Now you know the avian supremacy just a lie
SHAT never been raided, attacks just stalemated
A murder of kindness, yall can never deny
SHAT don’t grief, we gon' grieve your loss,
Then fund your rehab like an OG church boss
Don't just call us scammers, that’s so passé
We’re the raven winged hope of Judgment Day
So next you see SHAT feathers on your block
Bow your heads down to the benevolent flock
From the downtown bustle to Red Light glow
Get your damn hands up and bless the Crows!
Heads, shoulders, knees, and crows, knees and crows!
Heads, shoulders, knees and crows, knees and crows!
We mug with loving hugs and scented pillows!
Heads, shoulders, knees, and crows!