🏆 Torn’s Greatest Jacket Hoarder: searsyboy 🏆
Current jacket count: 528,034
People invest in stocks.
People invest in crypto.
People invest in property.
I invest in jackets.
While you fools were chasing gains, I was cornering the global outerwear market one sleeve at a time.
Some say I have a problem.
Those same people laughed at the guy who bought pizza with Bitcoin.
Who’s laughing now?
(Still them, admittedly.)
But when jacket prices finally skyrocket, I’ll become a quadzillionaire, retire to my luxury coat rack mansion, and hire a personal assistant whose sole job is counting zippers.
Until then, I’m just keeping my assets well insulated.
528,034 jackets.
That’s not a collection anymore.
That’s a weather system.
🧥📈🚀
“The jacket market is cold right now… but so was Bitcoin once.” 😎
One day I’ll own all the jackets in torn and you MF’s can freeze.
Display case for proof.