I'm going to build a dirty bomb (maybe), but I'm a little short (a LOT short) on cash. I have most (like .00001%) of it saved up, but I'm still about 20b short. I could probably cash in a few million points (that I don't have), but I'd rather get the community involved by holding a fundraiser (because I'm a broke ass bitch), and allowing everyone to vote on which faction gets targeted (I honestly have no intention of honoring this btw).
For those of you naysayers who believe this to be a scam (it most definitely maybe is), all money donated for the DB (*cough* Gold AK) will be held by a trusted member of the community (trusted ONLY by myself...because it IS myself) until all votes are in.
To participate, simply send cash with a message naming your preferred target for the DB (Fair warning: JFA 2.0 is the only valid choice), and once I have enough cash I will start the build (fly to UAE to purchase GAK).
But wait...There's more!!! Anyone donating over 25m will be allowed to join me during the build to receive the merit for being part of a dirty bomb build (don't know what its called because it doesn't matter anyway since this is probably a scam)!
Sincerely,
Someone you can trust (Bwahahaha SIKE!)
Edit: Turns out Evil-Duck was scamming after all....You heard it here first.
Sugarvalves trying not to give the devil her due in the newest article featuring Unrelenting's rise to the top, but I just can't let these inaccuracies go unmentioned:
1) Warrior-King left to join JFA 2.0 because their training regimen suited his needs better. Instead of training in the gym, he's allowed to troll me mercilessly with his brilliantly understated broken-English witticisms now.
2) 442782 was found innocent of scamming Torn Medical, because an official ruling was recently made in the courts of public opinion that scamming an *******'s sub faction is a charitable act designed to prevent more people from becoming *******s.
3) ItsZahid's use of emoji's should not by any means be used as evidence of our intentions to wreak havoc on our enemies instead of peacefully training, as he stated in the article. A *winky face* emoji merely means that he was flirting with Sugarvalves, as none of us have had time for sex lately due to strenuous training, chaining, and trolling (in my case).
I demand an immediate retraction in the newspaper, or else I will be forced to begin a daily news series exposing all the inconsistencies of every single Sugarvalves' article...and you all know I'll do it!
Contrary to popular belief, I'm a pretty smart girl. I read books, play sudoko, and can add and subtract without using my fingers to count.
And I also solve mysteries.
When the dirty bomb was used on Relentless the other day, my spidey-senses told me JFA was behind it. After some digging, I discovered that Kapten-Klitoris had buy-mugged Dek's DB...KK, being JFA all the way, despite having left a while back to join 3LG...
But after more digging, I found out that 3LG is a super-secret JFA faction! Very very interesting, isn't it?
Evil-Duck claims credit, and it is confirmed that he and Karty did partially fund the DB after reading Sugarvalves' newest article. But with ED married to KK, and KK having verifiable ties to JFA, its painfully obvious that ED was a pazzi, albeit a willing one since he gets to have something to talk about.
In conclusion, JFA used ED and KK to do their bidding and bomb our parent faction Relentless. Their motive for not bombing them directly was purely survival instinct...they knew that the Insurgency would **** them up for doing so.
So they hide in the shadows, whining that all their hard work was for naught...and knowing that their allies would likely get pissed at them having drug them into a shit storm, once word got out.
Time will tell...
Credit to Sugarvalves for a few missing pieces of evidence, but the community now knows the truth that he wasn't allowed to say in the article:
JFA did something stupid, and they'd better run like the scared little bitches that they are.
Threatened by Stretch to either have his faction do free revives or else, this former leader of Torn Medical instead tells his faction's co-owner to **** off, then strips the faction down to nothing.
He knew he'd likely be bountied indefinitely, and still let his conscience guide him into standing up to the *******s in defense of his revivers. In my eyes, he's a legend, as are all of Torn Medical who chose to defy the regime and leave for various revive factions.
JFA are fierce, but they suffered a huge blow losing control of so many revivers. They are not untouchable, and no player need fear them ever again.
Stand up, fight back at every opportunity, and watch these ****ers crumble under the pressure.
Wolverines!!
"We're not doing too bad for a bunch of kids. We're gonna fight, and we're gonna keep fighting, because it's easier now. And we're used to it. The rest of you are going to have a tougher choice. Because we're not going to sell it to you. It's too ugly for that. But when you're fighting in your own backyard, when you're fighting for your family, it all hurts a little less, and makes a little more sense. Because for them, this is just a place. But for us, this is our home."
The idea for this thread was sparked by all the hateful replies in a thread recently graved (see https://www.torn.com/forums.php?p=threads&f=17&t=16083855&b=0&a=0), in which the women of Torn were invited to join a discord server as a safe-haven from the normal "show us your tits" servers that most of us are used to.
Nearly every reply was an attempt to troll, claiming that women didn't need supportive discord servers.
Ekko_ sums it up ridiculously in his post: "But since women are absolutely equal to men in every way, why would they need any sort of encouragement that men do not also need? Seems pretty insulting to women to insinuate that they need some sort of hand-holding fraternity (The correct word is SORORITY if all women dumbass) as if being a woman is a handicap."
My response:
Men have enjoyed self-proclaimed superiority for millennia, and so many groups exist still that don't allow women to be a part of it. Even educational institutions like The Citadel only just recently began allowing women in, and we all know how that went...
Most religious institutions don't allow female clergy, women are still paid less in most career paths, and there has yet to be a female president in the US...
By your logic, excluding women from those groups and institutions indicates that men are handicapped, and admitting that they need their hands held because women are too ****ing scary to allow in...
Are you men of Torn seriously so insecure that you need to troll someone just for inviting women into a discord server set up to encourage them?
Red specifically states that even men are welcome to join, but the focus would be women helping women...instead of being supportive, you hate on the idea and troll mercilessly...
Would you talk this way to your mothers, daughters, and sisters?
1) Trader/Hillbilly/Enigma is my uncle and I may or may not have pretended to be him to start a war with JFA in forums. Fun times. 2) When I was kicked from Unrelenting because of my "cancerous" threads, I switched allegiances and became the Ambassador to Torn United Nations, except TUN didn't really want me "representing" them. Fun times. 3) I trolled Ghetosmoker in pm's when he tried to bully me into stopping posting about them, and may or may not have insinuated that he was an attention-starved 60 year old basement dweller...turns out it hit too close to home. Fun times. 4) I posted a comment that Trader was my uncle but I called him "Daddy" in bed, and when I finally admitted I didn't have sex with him, anonymous dork monkeys in JFA were so enraged to have their fantasies dispelled that they bountied me a ton. Fun times. 5) When I started trolling for hire, I was paid to draw bounties from people who were bullying others, and may or may not have made a few insensitive comments about a certain bully having a tiny uncircumcised penis. Fun times. 6) When I was hired to troll Asta, I raided his faction and then extorted him into paying me an additional 25m to keep from zeroing his faction. Fun times. 7) Through sheer cunning and deceit, I manipulated Dude into coming back into the forums as a shit poster, and then publicly stole his crown and wiped my ass with it. BEST OF TIMES!
I'm sad that more people aren't responding positively towards staff...I'm sure its that they don't want to contribute simply because I authored it, but I'm sure staff would appreciate their kind words.
If you don't want to post thanks here, at least private message your favorite staff member and just tell them good job.
If you aren't going to provide legitimate discussion, please keep clear of this thread. Hate has no place here; this is just about giving staff a little long-overdue praise.
We get it, you don't like me. But do not test me.™
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