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CONY_CAGE [2230895] Level 100

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254 observed
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17

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From the 167 newest archived posts.

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Likes as archived at fetch time, adjusted for how long each post had been up. Scored posts only; the full score pass runs after the import.

Dog Tags started a little early? · · 17 likes

Players shouldn't be penalized for a developer's screw up/oversight. I, for one, wasn't sure if that was intended last night, so spent 750e and 4x FHCs to get started. Now I have no tags to show for it and I'm 100m poorer.

If we're not being reimbursed for what was used and we're not allowed to keep what we already won, then I say we boycott the damn event.

Leslie's Freakshow · · 36 likes

The greatest thing · · 23 likes

I've given it a long, hard thought.

We need the bread knife to be usable with the loaf of bread to create a new item called, "sliced bread."

That is all.

That is not all:

"Sliced Bread" is a temporary item.
Two consecutive headshots yeilds an "Idiot Sandwich" honor bar + merit.

Now that is all

I pray for Crimes 2.0 · · 29 likes

Oh RNGesus, who art actually Ched.

Hallowed by thy keyboard.

Thy Bogie come,

Thy patch be done,

On earth as it is in the forums.

Give us this day our city drops

And forgive us our greed

As we forgive those gettings exotics they already have

And lead us not into cheesing,

But deliver us from bugs.

For thine is the moderator,

And the power,

And the glory,

For ever and ever, (or alternatively, "Until crimes 2.0 is released.")
ameno

Torn CHRISTMAS POEM - 2019 Edition · · 19 likes

I grew myself a Christmas beard,
And poured two pints of Guinness beer.

I turned to Duke and passed a glass,
He said, "dammit Cony, don't kiss my ass."

I said, "I'm not, it's for New Year's."
We drank and exclaimed "Cheers!"

And then Duke puked on my Christmas beard.

[image: i.ibb.co]


Cony_Cage [2230895]

Recent archived posts

Arson: Early Pictoral Guide · · 1 like

You drop your client a message and receive a text in response: "Meet me at Jackson and 5th. Now." Walking to the designated corner, you find your client crouched in an alley, still wearing his climbing harness. "Perfect timing," he grins, removing his backpack to pull out your reward, "But I ain't expect nothin' less from you." He tosses you a small pouch containing $84,000 and starts to remove his harness. "Whole city talking about that smoke show you pulled off," he continues, "What the f**k did you do?" You explain how the gas station's diesel pump caught fire, producing a thick black plume of smoke. "Whatever," he says, tucking his harness into his backpack. "Least you kept the heat off me." "First tagger to hit that building in history," he adds proudly, already backing away. "Real legend shit."

 

SUCCESS

 

$84,000

Diesel unlocked

Happy 20th! Keepsakes sold out at 22:35:10 · · 2 likes

I spent the last 2 hours trying to figure out the answer to that very question because nowhere in the forums or in the newspaper does it specify whether or not they restock at any point. Imo, someone really dropped the hamster ball on this one.

 

Why even bother designing a page for it?

To people who takes 4 xanax per day ·

The question is not how they do it, so much as, how do they afford the Adderall?

Today patch list · · 3 likes

I was reading today this thread and I don't see anything relating to fix your spelling issues, (despite you surprisingly impressive use of punctuation.)


Dear Wolverine, the current original post is a disaster and I don't see anything fixed yet.


Every time we open a page we see it in "The News Ticker" and it is always a there up top because there is another of many similar smart asses.


The current reply here is almost as buggy as when it was released the first time, it's very slow, dictionaries do not work, ideas are not synchronized through multiple run on sentences, edit settings (copy and paste) are not attempted, green thumbs appearing and not disappearing while I'm typing with one goal (to make mistake disappear I have to close the game and delete it) and many many others errors that are pointless to list in this satire.


I remember you that this is a text based game with a broken people system and I never ever seen a most broken paragraph systy in my life (congratulations on attaining this record): you asked in advance some changes from the chedburn about the new chat system, but clicks are passing and many of us want a rollback to the old-ass trolling system while you make the new cotrections as fast and as working as the this one.

Lucifer's Lucky Dip · · 1 like

D3VL'S DIMWITTED DEMEANOR DECIDERATES DISENFRANCHISEMENT DESPITE DEFINITIVELY DROLLING DICTION DISMEMBERMENT.


[image: cdn.discordapp.com]

Newspaper clarification · · 2 likes

#suckitsugarvalves

Am I the Asshole? ·

.45 Auto USP in 9mm · · 6 likes

Actually, the SKS is clip fed, with a fixed magazine.

.45 Auto USP in 9mm ·

Correct. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone stopped being people when they became talking pectoral muscles.

.45 Auto USP in 9mm · · 2 likes

This is also what happens when you have a bunch of game developers designing firearms who have probably never even held a real one.

New item images ·

I give it about a week before you'll see these images on AliExpress.

Crimes 2.0 release date REVEALED ·

I'm starting to think that the eggs are also a McGuffin. I've yet to see any hard evidence of these supposed "eggs."

Crimes 2.0 release date REVEALED · · 1 like

Fake news. Anybody who really pays attention knows that that's a McGuffin.

Crimes 2.0 release date REVEALED · · 3 likes

Did sugarvalves just accidentally clue us in on the release date for Crimes 2.0 in his most recent newspaper article?

Obviously, there is something significant about this specific time and date:12:43 pm on January 5th, 2029. And according to Occam's Razor, the simplest explanation is often the correct one. Through my deductive reasoning and infallible logic, I have determined that it must actually be when we will finally see the release of Crimes 2.0.

I Wanted War, all I got was excuses · · 6 likes

You wanted Vietnam, and all you got was Grenada. dizzydizzydizzy

WLT nerf? ·

Some of my sources indicate that the champagne was bottled in the same plant where Sally makes her peanut butt-er cracks. Several people on many flights were reporting peanut allergies as well as the acute spread of pink eye.

App v1.9.11 issue ·

Device: motorola moto g power (2022) Android: 12 App version: 1.9.11
When filling blood bags from the medical sub menu: Empty bag used then filled bags improperly display as "x2"

<a href="https://ibb.co/wJsPC77"><img src="https://i.ibb.co/HNdbYCC/Screenshot-20230205-134150.png" alt="Screenshot-20230205-134150" border="0"></a>

<a href="https://ibb.co/f4T3s9w"><img src="https://i.ibb.co/86QyHbZ/Screenshot-20230205-134200.png" alt="Screenshot-20230205-134200" border="0"></a>

[320R+] Faction Balance Notification · · 2 likes

Bump

Travel from 1 location to another ·

8* AN for $ale ·

All upgrades.

Open to all offers, willing to negotiate.