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2480971 [2480971] Level 87 Federal

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CHOKE ME LESLIE · · 568 likes

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Well, You said gross Leslie.

Torn DOES get you laid · · 514 likes

Edit: 16:17:45 - 10/02/2021 Someone anonymously placed 1x $200,000 bounties on you : For having an ugly baby

Lol. I’d have to disagree. I think he’s beautiful and no ones ever going to convince me otherwise. I’m not even mad, made a multi just to post (super salty!)

Edit 2: Perfectly balanced, as all things should be (lol)

[image: i.ibb.co]

Edit 3: R1ver disliked your thread

Way to ruin the perfect ratio! Lol

_____________________


I had mixed feelings about posting this but it’s easier to direct friends here than send pictures to all of them.


If anyone remembers my post on the day 1 of Duke’s Christmas giveaway where I was kissing my wife’s bump, well - that bump became my son yesterday at 13:03 TCT.


I was going to post a thread anyway seeing as my first year on Torn but with the war going on, (thank god that ended when it did lmao) then my son being born - I’ve just been a mess of sleep deprivation and busy will all manner of different things!


I remember seeing one of the TCT adverts a while back which said that 100% of Torn players get laid (or something like that) and well, it must be true because we conceived around the time I joined SA some 10 months ago lol

Anyway; without further ado - My son, the future legend of SA (probably) :D

[image: i.ibb.co]



Will he one day take Nova’s title of biggest hands in Torn? (Probably)

[image: i.ibb.co]



Other parents of Torn - Does this spell the end of high activity? Or will my gains benefit from the inevitable multiple waking moments each night? How did it impact you guys?

Anyway, I’m back home alone at the moment - my Mrs and my son have had to stay in overnight again so I’ll probably catch up on some sleep! Much love to everyone

[206R] Sponsoring another player's subscription · · 222 likes

I haven’t seen this suggestion posted before and it’s something I’ve wondered about previously which I personally would be interested in.

Not everyone has the means or ability to purchase a subscription. I know there’s a lot of people out there who choose not to for whatever reason, but there are some who’d love to but can’t.

I have friends who can’t subscribe, and I think it’s a shame they have to miss out on the rewards ( books, specifically. ).

An example I have here is player X in my faction. I’m from the U.K. and X is from East Asia. He’s a student and he can’t afford to pay for the subscription, even though he is as active and loves Torn as much as I do.

I had thought about simply paying it for him, but then what options do I have?


I can’t log in to his account and set up the payment for obvious reasons, and for as much as I love the guy I most certainly am not sharing my bank details online. As far as I can tell, my best option is to set up a prepaid card and send him that - (but then I’m sure I’ve seen that it’s not possible to set up a subscription on one of these?)

So my suggestion is this;

Let us as players sponsor the subscription of other person(s) accounts, through our own account.

Torn earns more revenue (plus)
More people get to reap the benefits of subscription (plus)
It could make for some really good prizes or giveaways (plus)

Hell, it could potentially be another thing for some players to sell to others ( all the while increasing Torn’s revenue )


Please leave any thoughts, and give a like if you’d like to see something like this implemented smiley

Edit: I see there are concerns of RMT. I personally don’t see how it differs from Donator Packs in that aspect, but I suppose it’s besides the original idea I was trying to suggest.


I simply wanted a way for those that could to help those who can’t, there doesn’t necessarily need to be a trade for it.

Edit: We managed it but yes, not without some difficulty. Definitely want this change lol.

$1 Personalised Christmas poems! · · 30 likes

Just to have a little festive fun!

“Hang up your stockings and put up your tree,
It’s Christmas in Torn - and it’s now COVID free,
Well, apart from that one little bastard Leslie,
It’s here again folks, gather round and come see!

But jokes aside, rejoice and have fun,
For MJH is here to make this Christmas the best one,
A poem for you, your spouse or your mum,
Either romantic or serious or just littered with puns,

Send one to your faction leader or mate,
Even one to that buy mugging bastard you hate,
Get in touch now, there’s no need to wait,
Buy a Christmas poem before it’s too late!”
Spreading joy like the saint that I am, I can write a short message or poem or greeting card for you for just $1!

Yes, just $1. (Madness!)

I’m no Shakespeare (although I’m not opposed to the drugs) but I’ll try my best and they’ll be written with love!

They don’t have to be silly at all - I can attempt both romantic and comedy, and I can fully personalise for you.

Tips and donations are very welcome but not necessary!

I endeavour to have all written within 24 hours (subject to demand!) and I can also have them sent anonymously for you if you want :D

Examples;

To Crytzch,

We’ve had our ups and downs like our relationship’s hilly,
But your love keeps me warm through the times that are chilly,
I adore you completely and some may find it silly,
Beautiful from your top of your head to the tip of your willy feet!

To Mysteria,

Glad tidings my darling, a wonderful leader you are,
I will follow you always, no matter how far,
You teach me so much, helped me set a high bar,
Ride and die by your side, my Yorkshire North Star!
To Claire,

Another Christmas between us, and I’m so happy too,
For without you my darling I don’t know what I’d do,
You’re perfect completely, and I mean that - it’s true,
A snowflake isn’t special at all when it’s compared next to you.

Merry Christmas my girl, I love you always.
You were sent $1,000,000 from Baxia with the message: A nice little poem, sensual and hot

Sensual and hot just like my favourite curry,
You have MJH sweating all over, it’s not even funny,
I get my pants off, fingers fumbling to hurry,
I feel a warm liquid, both sticky but runny,
Oh no, not this quick.. I’m so sorry honey
I’ve just shit my pants, now give me my money.

(He’s a friend and he loved it lol)

To ORAN,


There’s a trader in town who’s not like any other,
He’s just like Torn’s very own Alan Sugar,
He’s committed and clever - a man with a plan,
A trader at birth, he didn’t Owalk - he ORAN,
So if you’re selling, this guy’s you covered,
Keep well my friend and happy holidays brother!

To Hemi,

Beautiful but deadly, like Bonnie without Clyde,
Yet so helpful and friendly, a true special find,
Not to be messed with if you like being live,
But always there if you need to confide,
Merry Christmas Hemi, have fun and drink wine,
Glad to call you a friend of mine,
But make sure to leave the keys to that red car behind,
For even in Torn, you must not drink and drive!

To Jeremiahcron, (theme as requested)

It’s Christmas again Son but this time it’s better,
Just me there for you, like I’ll be forever,
You make me so proud, and I’m really so glad,
The man you’re becoming, and just like your Dad,
(There’s no one more special to a dad than his son,
It’s a pleasure, and it’s no where near done,
So be happy, so happy and prepare to have fun,
We’re finally rid of your bitch of a mum!)
Don’t worry for those who have left us behind,
For me and you Son, will get on just fine,
Merry Christmas my boy, and for the last line,
You, my child - are one of a kind!

To xJoKer, love Cornhub,

You may be called Joker, but this is no laugh,
I can’t live without you, my world would not last,
I think you’re so special, and I can’t put in to words,
Just how much you mean to me, or how much you are worth,
A diamond in the rough, a needle not found,
You are the simply the most beautiful around.
You fill me up in more than one way,
I’ll let you love me however and I’m not even gay,
Don’t you worry sweetheart, I belong to you,
Thick or thin, war or peace - we’ll see it through.
And in case you think I’m joking (which I’m totally not,
With this poem I send you because I love you a lot,
I will happily prove it, until the end of Torn,
You are my xJoker and I am your Corn.

To Clitasauras,

Clit - Rumour is you’re hard to find, and harder still to please,
Unless of course you’re in SA, and then it’s done with ease,
The trick you see is in the touch, (he’s more gentle than he seems),
Touch him lightly but be consistent and he’s shaking like a flower in the breeze!

00:26:29 - 06/12/2020 Daisy3 sent $1 to you with the message: Send or post a poem to Christ, F&G's biggest troll but i love him anyway! :P

It’s somebody’s birthday and everyone’s glad!
This guy will forgive you even if you’ve been bad,
Invite all your family (maybe perhaps dear old dad)
Turn water to champagne without making him sad,

But Christ, bare in mind and you probably should,
People rely on you to show them your good,
Be merry but smart, and no causing floods,
The last thing you want is to be back on that wood!

Easter Egg-Painting Competition · · 200 likes

This is an story as old as time, a battle between good and evil, horni and hilarious.


Some names have been changed slightly to protect the privacy of the people involved (lol)

[image: i.ibb.co]

[image: i.ibb.co]

[image: i.ibb.co]

[image: i.ibb.co]

[image: i.ibb.co]

[image: i.ibb.co]

[image: i.ibb.co]

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[image: i.ibb.co]



The end

Also for the bonus points;

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Recent archived posts

10T STATS! ·

Congratulations that’s mental

Lessons Learned · · 2 likes

Thank you, you seem good enough with words to me!

Oligarch | Recruiting! · · 3 likes

Come join us. Not a request.

Lessons Learned · · 2 likes

Definitely man, and the price will only ever come down so bare that in mind!

Lessons Learned · · 1 like

It can and does happen, it’s not worth the risk & any wins you have will only reinforce the opposite. Please for the love of God try to avoid walking this well trodden path to regret and sorrow!

Lessons Learned · · 1 like

Thanks mate, I intend to. Hope you and yours are all good up there in Jockland ;P

Lessons Learned · · 1 like

It’d mean so much more to you if you do earn it man

Lessons Learned · · 4 likes

I came back because I missed the game and the people, and I realised I didn’t have to take it anywhere near as seriously :)

Lessons Learned ·

I do think that people will/do help or advise people in order to boost their own ego yes, whether or not that’s common, the extent or reasons of is not for me to say.

I thought a lot about those questions and I suppose I can only answer you like this;

[background color=var(--bbc-body-bg-color)]I am who I am, I won’t change that to suit someone else - especially strangers on the internet. I don’t care if people know or like me, I do me. If I can help, I do, just a human non psychopath like everyone else lmao.[/background]

Lessons Learned · · 1 like

Thank you, the nicest (or one of) response I think I’ve ever had.

Lessons Learned · · 1 like

Perhaps, but what kind of man would I be to pass on the blame for my own actions?


Always respected you for that Dede, you’re one who reminds me what’s important (friends) and honestly everyone sees it. Keep being you, you deserve every success that comes to you.

Lessons Learned ·

You sent $5 to Shooby with the message: Get a BigMac on me ;P




I guess that makes us even! party

Lessons Learned · · 1 like

Thanks man, and yes - unfortunately that is a mindset many people find themselves in and it’s truly a shame.

Hope you’re doing well anyway friend!

Lessons Learned · · 3 likes

Thank you, I’m glad at least some people are finding it useful.

Lessons Learned ·

Yes I am.


No offence but you have no idea how wrong you are, so for full transparency (lol) I will explain.


I was the part owner of an oil rig. I had around 900m cash, and as my passive income was around 120m a week, I decided screw it - why save for several weeks for the BB I wanted when I had a 50% chance of either receiving it immediately or simply delaying it a few weeks. That was the most I had ever gambled at that point, and in all honestly the loss was considerably more devastating than I had anticipated. I was upset and I did whine and think of quitting.



The other owner of the oil rig had enough cash to buy me out immediately and said to me that if I was going to quit anyway, I might as well try my luck for doubling my money. As aggravated as I was, I did just that. Losing (IIRC) about 6B.


I was devastated. I wanted to quit, but for all my emotion I was that committed to my aggressive play style that I couldn’t even stay away for enough time to miss a single xanax. After realising this, I came back and I built myself back from 0 to over double what I lost.

My leaving SA had very little to do with that entire situation, but as this was MONTHS before, and I had to tuck my tail between my legs and take the embarrassment of coming back (almost immediately), I concede that no, I did not learn from that mistake at that time. I’d argue it’s hard to learn from a mistake when you so quickly turn it around in fact.

Lessons Learned · · 1 like

It’s an interesting point and I appreciate being challenged. I was speaking to my friend about this last night and it all comes down to what you want from the game. For me personally, I know that I can quit if I feel I have to and I realised that I take my enjoyment from the journey, not the destination. If you were to find a genie in a bottle, what would be the purpose of skipping forward? To have nothing whatsoever to work towards?
There’s a boost and there’s just appearing at the finish line, the difference being considerable.


So no, I wouldn’t jump to top 100 if I could. :)

Lessons Learned · · 1 like

I appreciate the compliment on my writing ability lol

Hope you’re doing well Art

Lessons Learned · · 2 likes

Thanks Baron, glad to know I’m in the company of such wonderful people!

Lessons Learned ·

Made me lol, thanks

Lessons Learned · · 2 likes

It’s obviously not lost on me how lengthy this post was, and I did briefly consider the newspaper BUT, I don’t want a soap box, I wanted to open a discussion and allow people to tell me (and others) what they think about the different things I touch on. I’m not trying to hide or be proud of my mistakes, but speak openly about them and say look, I get it - I did it, it’s not the way.

It it helps one person, it’s worth it IMO regardless of the stances people may take