St Patrick's Day Drunken Regrets

On a sports trip to Townsville drinking vodka and orange all night with shots in between, decided to buy a round of shots for the guys. Turned around and no-one had come with me....so drank all 6 myself. Went out to the dance floor and felt I was going to hurl, so I put my hand over my mouth- which just made it squirt through my fingers. I vomited on 4 separate girls simultaneously. Went outside and half passed out, woke up being kissed by a homeless woman. No real recollection of the rest of the night but apparently I chased a cop car down the street with a traffic cone. I woke up on a bus the next day, 250 kms out of town......with all my bags packed and on the bus with me.

walking into a biker bar in ireland, and in my poshest english voice, asking how 'marge and the kids' were, and then talking gabout the weather...

In college I woke up in a strange house wearing someone else's clothes. Sad thing is the bra fit better.

I met this fair maiden at a family gathering & was immediately drunk by the beauty of her eyes..

21 years 1 month & 18 days later, I'm still drunk & held captive & enslaved by those intoxicating eyes.

I hear in some parts of the civilised world, drunk slaves like me are also popularly known us "husbands".

A girlfriend and I went to a bar­­ and had shots of tequila to out drink each other. One thing lead to another, and we jumped up on the bar recreating the Coyote Ugly Bar scene. While dancing and pouring drinks on our bodies, we decided to head to the outdoor bar, inviting ourselves to a wedding reception. They were having a Hawaiian Luau. We decided to take off our shirts wearing nothing but our bras. A group of ladies approached us placing leis, headbands, and tying ti leaf hula skirts around our waist. Looking at each other we said why not and danced up a storm some more. We both decided to hit the buffet and ate lots of food and cake. All of a sudden, we felt nauseous. We then began to throw up everywhere, causing others that were bi-standers to throw up as well. After changing back into our outfits a guy approaches us and said Wheeze the Juice! Holy Shit, it was Pauly Shore, so we took some selfies and hauled ass out of there because shit just got real again and we vomited some more. Word of advice dont drink the tequila.

xoxo Katy

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There was this one time I drank wine.... That's all I remember

I've never been properly drunk (only tipsy) and proud of it.
Know your limits.

Being drunk is not something to be proud of and show off... gg Torn.

Me and my friends had got drunk once in college. We broke into college at midnight and stole the answer sheets and then filled the answers. When we were about to leave, a peon passed by. We thought he saw us and planned to kidnap him. We pulled him and locked him in principal's car instead of ours as it was parked nearby and drive our car.

Next morning we just remember that we filled our answer sheets and also remember we kidnapped peon. But the question was were did we put him. We searched him everywhere.

We all attained the class that day and heard people discussing that someone had pulled a peon and locked him in principal's car.

Luckily he had not seen any of our faces. :)

I was at a party with several friends. I trusted one of them to make my drinks. Given that we were all 20-somethings, this was unwise. I was later to find out he fed me 750 mL of gin over the party. At one point I decided that I had better get home. So I headed out onto the drive to go to my car. I suddenly hear "two chicks are going at it!" Being male and in my 20's of course I changed direction instantly. Sure enough, there is a floor show. So I am watching this and starting to have fantasies that seem really vivid with people putting hands down my pants but suddenly I realize someone's hands ARE down my pants! It is my ginger friend who is trying to get the keys to my car so he can move it so other people can leave!

By far the most frightening intoxicated experience I have had was staying the night in his house in fear!

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I thought whilst drunk that the best way to go outside to get more alcohol was through the lounge windows, I fell hit my head really hard and passed out, it took four guys to carry me to a bed, I still have no memory of it but I had one hell of a black eye.

A few years ago, back in college, I went out with some friends and got mad drunk. As I spent way too much on alcohol, during dinner I had to step out to withdraw some cash and on my way back, after hanging up a call, I was approached by a lady offering services. In my drunk state, I tried to politely decline, yet she persisted and started to feel me up, but I managed to get away.

Back at the restaurant I decided to share this moment with my pals and we were having a good laugh until I realize my phone was missing. In my drunken haze I chose to pursue the lady, to no avail, and after a couple of hours we go to the club where my GF was waiting for me, pissed because I wasn't taking her calls. As I was unable to articulate an appropriate response, a pal of mine took the reigns and shared the story laughing with my GF getting angrier.

This was the moment I decided to cut my losses and hoped on the bus straight home, only to wake up on the following morning, lying in a bench of a train station, nowhere near my place, with my wrist broken and my phone, shattered, ringing. To this day I'm yet to understand wtf happened.

I got drunk, passed out and woke up having split my head open. Spent the day in A&E and now have 7 stitches in my head. Going to difficult to explain at work on Monday! Ill have to buy some fancy hats!

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Got some great drunk tales but most horrendous... well I'm really not proud of this one, but I was young and dumb and I've got Irish blood in my genes.



I was about 20, went to a good friends birthday house party. Always been flirty with his girl but she was like that with everyone, and he never cared. So we all get real dirty drunk like kids do, some people sick, some passing out, and we all end up calling it a night and sleeping in his room (like 10 of us), all the floor room was filling up so I chose to squeeze in the bed with them. She's in the middle and he's passed out along with everyone else and well... we did it in his bed on his bday, with him right next to us. Worst thing I've done to someone! Super regrets.

We were just chilling at my house one time in a little party, drinking a little. My Mexican friend (Daniel) had brought some good o' brownies for use to enjoy! I'm not sure how many I ate, but only a few- on the other hand, we had this one random I remember that loved the brownies! Well, turns out o' Daniel brought the wrong plate- it contained some... depressants- and we got funked up! I woke up the next morning and everything- I mean everything- was destroyed with people sprawled all over the place. I don't think I even knew some of them. Needless to say, Daniel won't be coming to our next parties. AND I WONT BE HOSTING THEM!

Thanks everyone for the entries Duke will be reading through them and making his decisions

Thus marks the end

Thanks

One time I drunkenly posted on a thread three hours after the competition ended. Oh wait, that's now.

So before Duke gets to the winners I just wanna thank them jerks what said you dont drink alcohol. Real helpful guys. Might go back and whack each and every one of you preachy motherf****rs just for funs.

Anyway heres them what won. Remember this was a worst regret story. I aint takin none of these cool ass stories bout threesomes or makin out with dogs as somethin you regret.



WINNER - Certacito

I mean damn if yous aint winnin for bein a wheelchair guy then what else you gotta do? Only one problem with your story though kid. I aint believe you got an amazing daughter. Everyone says that. It aint never true.

CERTACITO'S STORY



SECOND - Blunt

If yous gonna get drunk yous may as well do it right. Pissing, throwing up, breaking stuff, breaking up, racist stuff and hospital fun. If yous had broke your spine too youd have won but you aint cause your a lightweight.

BLUNT'S STORY





THIRD - Stormcast

Yous took the ring of fire to a hole new level heh. Hope yous put some cream on your lil peephole there otherwise its probly real messed up today.

STORMCAST'S STORY



Duke cant be assed saying who gots honorable menshuns but yous will know it if yous do cause im sendin out a bunch of green stouts to them what I liked. Now Dukes tired from readin your borin stories so I gotta go get drunk myself. Its 9.30 am somewhere.